Jake had a beautiful swimming lesson on Tuesday and his confidence is definitely up a lot. We had a vomit free class (although he did puke at the previous lesson last Thursday) and he was quite happy to jump into the pool through a hoop. He's also able to swim the width of the pool on his own now (4m) and is learning to come up for air on his way. I'm VERY proud of how well he's doing.
After swimming on Tuesday, I had a few things to sort out at home and found Jake a little while later, sitting on our back step, peeling carrots. He tells me they were for the Eater Bunny, but the next morning, he wanted them in his lunch box, so the bunny didn't get any. It all went really well, until he cut his finger on the peeler and had to abandon his job. One drop of blood and that's it...
I had a really bad night last night too. Jake spent the night in my bed (I'd been out and it's his treat when I'm not there, to go to sleep in my bed). In the early hours of this morning, I woke up with to him calling me. I asked him what was wrong and he cried that he was scared of the sea. I asked why and he told me that he doesn't want to drown in the sea too. I told him that he doesn't have to swim in the sea if he's scared and asked him if he was happy with that, but he was fast asleep. Needless to say, it left me with a lot to think about and had me in tears - I can't deal with my own grief, let alone my childs. And he's obviously hurting. Added to this, I've had a pain in my stomach (generally lower right) for about a week now and sent myself into a panic during the night at the thought of it being something really serious. Imagine if I had to leave my child all alone in this world? That made me cry more. So, I've made a doctor's appointment for this afternoon and hopefully he'll tell me it's my appendix as I originally suspected. Or a spastic colon. Anything except something scary or life-threatening. I don't think I could deal with that.
Anyway, that was quite depressing. I've been home already to get a tranquilizer - I just couldn't stop crying this morning. Everything seems so trivial. Anyway - I hope the photos of Jake and his carrots made up for the rest of my post. I hope that you all have a very blessed Easter and that you enjoy the long weekend. Jake and I have a pretty quite one planned, although my out-laws are away camping (again) and the pressure's already on for Jake & I to go spend a night there. Not sure when though. I've been so busy over the last 2 weeks, I'm just really looking forward to some quiet time at home with Jake...
Love Sue
XXX
I had a really bad night last night too. Jake spent the night in my bed (I'd been out and it's his treat when I'm not there, to go to sleep in my bed). In the early hours of this morning, I woke up with to him calling me. I asked him what was wrong and he cried that he was scared of the sea. I asked why and he told me that he doesn't want to drown in the sea too. I told him that he doesn't have to swim in the sea if he's scared and asked him if he was happy with that, but he was fast asleep. Needless to say, it left me with a lot to think about and had me in tears - I can't deal with my own grief, let alone my childs. And he's obviously hurting. Added to this, I've had a pain in my stomach (generally lower right) for about a week now and sent myself into a panic during the night at the thought of it being something really serious. Imagine if I had to leave my child all alone in this world? That made me cry more. So, I've made a doctor's appointment for this afternoon and hopefully he'll tell me it's my appendix as I originally suspected. Or a spastic colon. Anything except something scary or life-threatening. I don't think I could deal with that.
Anyway, that was quite depressing. I've been home already to get a tranquilizer - I just couldn't stop crying this morning. Everything seems so trivial. Anyway - I hope the photos of Jake and his carrots made up for the rest of my post. I hope that you all have a very blessed Easter and that you enjoy the long weekend. Jake and I have a pretty quite one planned, although my out-laws are away camping (again) and the pressure's already on for Jake & I to go spend a night there. Not sure when though. I've been so busy over the last 2 weeks, I'm just really looking forward to some quiet time at home with Jake...
Love Sue
XXX
4 comments:
Jake is such a strong boy. Just think at night he is having these fears when he is asleep, but during the day he faces those fears and swims so well! We are all so proud of him -and even prouder of you - I can not even imagine taking on the task you have taken. That is why I truly believe that needing and asking for a bit of help here and there is absolutely fine and necessary. Let us know what the doctor says and try to take it easy for these few days!
Lots of love and hugs
xxx
I love that he was getting carrots ready for the Easter Bunny! So cute!
Sorry you are having a hard time of it Susie. Let us know what the Doc says and try your very best to stay positive. He is so cute man is going to be a man of nature that is for sure. Hope the Easter Bunny was kind to him in spite of getting no carrots!!! Love Nana Fi xxxx
Hey S,
Your post really moved me. I do hope you are felling better and that the doctor has laid your worries to rest.
On the Jake note. I had an interesting conversation with my mom on Tuesday. She told me that she had cried herself to sleep many nights after my dad died. She was scared that she wouldn't be able to raise us on her own and that she would not be able to take away our hurt following his death. Granted me and my brother have had our ups and downs but she did a good job in the end.
She realised that children are very resilient and it was better for us to sometimes go through scary times than show no emotion at all.
I think Jake is moving through his angst and hurt in moments like these. And it is a natural thing. He is a beautiful boy and so intelligent. And he has love and laughter in his eyes - something many kids grow up without.
anch
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