We're busy sorting out our archives at work. It's a massive job that hasn't been done since our company started in 1998. Since we only need to keep track of paperwork from the last 5 years for tax purposes, it means that we are throwing away masses of old documents - 8 years worth. Plus, I am re-doing all the old files and sorting the place out a bit. It means that my office is cramped and messy at the moment, but hopefully soon, everything will be organised and easily accessible.
In going through old documents, I'm amazed at how emotional some silly office documents are making me feel. Looking back at dates, such as 7 December 2004 and remembering what an emotional wreck I was back then. Our first Christmas without Jacques was looming and I was beside myself at the thought of actually having to take time off work and be at home. I needed to work to keep my mind distracted. Conflicting to that was knowing that I would have some extra time with Jake; that we were going to be celebrating his first Christmas. I was doing my best ( not very successfully) to keep a smile on my face and make it a happy one for him. It was very hard.
4 March 2005, just a few days before the anniversary of our wedding. How could it be that just 4 years earlier, I'd been so excited about starting the new life that had just crumbled around me? How could so much have happened in such a short amount of time?
6 May 2005 and I wonder now how I coped planning Jake's first birthday. Just a year before I'd been the happiest person on the planet.
Then I get to dates like 7 September 2005, which is 2 days before Danie's birthday and 25 July 2005 - just less than 5 years before we will meet each other and I will lose my heart all over again. At the time, I would never have dreamed that falling in love again would ever be possible. But it is and it amazes me every single day that I can feel so strongly about some one.
How time has changed me. I am a single mother, who, thrown into the deep end, has given everything I possibly could into being the best parent possible. It hasn't been easy, but Jake is a lovely little boy (he has his faults, but don't we all?) and I have loved every moment I get share with him. I love watching him grow and learn about the world around him. Being a single parent has made me better at decision making and it has definitely made me a stronger person.
So, to some, this cleaning up process might just be a boring job (OK, it's definitely VERY boring), but I am learning a lot about myself and my life while I get the job done!
Enjoy your weekend everybody
Sue XXX
Friday, January 28, 2011
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Our little princess...
During the last week or so, we were treated with a sneak peak of my beautiful little niece. I know I've been bad at keeping everyone up-to-date on Jo's pregnancy, but she's doing so well and looking so great that there is little to report. Still, I love scans - it just makes the baby real to those on the outside.
Bianca Mary is due on the 18th of May 2011. Both Jake & I are quite excited at the thought of possibly sharing our birthday with the new arrival - what a special gift! Bianca is about 30cm long now and weighs about 530g. Jo is a little past half way now and her bump is so little and so neat. I must remember to ask her if I can try feel Bianca moving next time I see her. And with that, here are the most recent scan pics...
Look at her great legs! She takes after her auntie for sure...
A little wave for the camera. Hi baby. It's me, your favourite auntie. I love you and I promise to always spoil you. I'm the one with lots of nice treats in my cupboard...
And how about this?? It makes me melt! That little nosie, mouth and chin are just too perfect (don't be doff now, just turn your head side ways)...
And lastly, check this out!! How incredible, how precious and what a very special treat for all of us who already love this little girl so much. She's just absolutely perfect - well done Jo and, of course, Paul. We can't wait for Bianca to get here now, she looks ready for a cuddle. I know I am; these pictures made me unbelievably broody...
Sue X
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
The year ahead...
OK, so I know it's already nearly the end of January already, but I didn't really give myself much time to think about resolutions and things towards then end of last year. Then it was getting Jake (and myself) ready for the start of big school. Since then, I've had a little time to ponder about what it is I want for the year ahead.
Firstly, let me say that I don't do resolutions. I think they set you up for disappointment and, let's face it, waiting for the new year to arrive to start that diet/exercise routine/eating or drinking programme (or whatever else you chose) is just an excuse to continue with a bad habit until the new year starts. And once we break the new routine, we are left feeling guilty and despondent with ourselves. So, I don't have any resolutions for 2011.
That said, I'm a planner. I like knowing what lies ahead in my life. I like structure. I want to know when I'm going on holiday; where I'm going and for how long. I love researching places and things to do at my destination. I also like having goals and I like working towards them. I love having that something special to look forward to during the year ahead. This year, I don't a holiday booked and planned for the a year ahead (probably because I've just come home from one). I don't even know if I'll be going anywhere or just spending time at home, enjoying our own city. To tell you the truth, I'd prefer to have that holiday to look forward to.
All that aside, I've decided now that we're well into 2011, that this is my year to get fit. I feel sluggish and lazy and I would like to shape up and get more energetic. I want to bring routine exercise into my home, that Jake & I can partake in together. So... I've started walking with a friend, with a view to building it up to jogging over the next few weeks. I'm SERIOUSLY unfit, so this is a huge thing for me. Jake & I are also riding our bicycles most afternoons, probably just doing about 5km, but in my opinion it's better than nothing. It's been a mission getting my butt (and head) into gear for this, but it's something I really need to do. I can't believe how much more alert and awake I am feeling, so for now it's all going well. Now, I just need to motivate Danie to get going with his cycling again. Working through the holidays has forced him into a bit of a slump and I just hope that he picks it up again soon. The fact that he loved exercising and taking care of himself was on my list of why he was so nice... And maybe one day, I'll be fit enough to run with him in the evenings too. Maybe...
Sue X
Firstly, let me say that I don't do resolutions. I think they set you up for disappointment and, let's face it, waiting for the new year to arrive to start that diet/exercise routine/eating or drinking programme (or whatever else you chose) is just an excuse to continue with a bad habit until the new year starts. And once we break the new routine, we are left feeling guilty and despondent with ourselves. So, I don't have any resolutions for 2011.
That said, I'm a planner. I like knowing what lies ahead in my life. I like structure. I want to know when I'm going on holiday; where I'm going and for how long. I love researching places and things to do at my destination. I also like having goals and I like working towards them. I love having that something special to look forward to during the year ahead. This year, I don't a holiday booked and planned for the a year ahead (probably because I've just come home from one). I don't even know if I'll be going anywhere or just spending time at home, enjoying our own city. To tell you the truth, I'd prefer to have that holiday to look forward to.
All that aside, I've decided now that we're well into 2011, that this is my year to get fit. I feel sluggish and lazy and I would like to shape up and get more energetic. I want to bring routine exercise into my home, that Jake & I can partake in together. So... I've started walking with a friend, with a view to building it up to jogging over the next few weeks. I'm SERIOUSLY unfit, so this is a huge thing for me. Jake & I are also riding our bicycles most afternoons, probably just doing about 5km, but in my opinion it's better than nothing. It's been a mission getting my butt (and head) into gear for this, but it's something I really need to do. I can't believe how much more alert and awake I am feeling, so for now it's all going well. Now, I just need to motivate Danie to get going with his cycling again. Working through the holidays has forced him into a bit of a slump and I just hope that he picks it up again soon. The fact that he loved exercising and taking care of himself was on my list of why he was so nice... And maybe one day, I'll be fit enough to run with him in the evenings too. Maybe...
Sue X
Monday, January 24, 2011
Settling into it...
The last week has been an absolute whirlwind. There's just been so much happening, especially with trying to get Jake into a proper routine for school. Hopefully, the trends we set this year, are the trends Jake will stick to for the rest of his school career.
I make sure that his lunch box is packed the night before and that his uniform is ironed and ready for him to get himself dressed in the morning. We wake up early each day (6am), which gives us time to take it easy in the mornings. I don't do frantic very well. It's easy for now because the weather is good, but I'm pretty sure that when winter comes, we'll lie in until the last minute and then there'll be a mad scramble to get ready and to school before the bell rings at 7:55. For now, we are trying to walk to school as often as we can, which gives us time to chat and get our blood pumping before the day begins. Jake seems to enjoy this time together and chats non-stop all the way to school. It's only about a 15 minute walk, so I have plenty of time to walk/jog home and get ready for work.
So far, drop-offs have gone well. I've managed to hold it together for him (sometimes only just), although I do find myself thinking about him so much during the day and I can't wait to get home to him each afternoon to hear all about his day. I think that having had time to get used to him going off to pre-school (and playgroup before that) first makes leaving him much easier for me. Still, it's a big school, with around 1200 kids, and he's just a little guy. He's only 6 and no matter which way you look at it, at 6, they're really still babies.
On Thursday morning, he went to school with a sore tummy. He was fine when I left him, but by the time his Auntie Josette & 2 cousins arrived at school, he was in tears. Thankfully, Josette stayed with him until the bell rang and he was able to go into his classroom. The teacher said he was fine as soon as they got going. On Friday and again this morning, he had a wobbly lip, but he has managed to hold it together. It is heartbreaking to leave them when you know that they're uncertain. As a mother and while Jake is in my care, it's my job to protect him. To keep him safe and to give him the happiest childhood possible. It's very hard to let go and to watch your children making mistakes as they grow and learn how to be independent people.
Other than that, Jake has already had homework to do. Some days he has less than others, but it's been a bit of a reality check for me. I'm not sure I'm properly prepared for doing school all over again - I didn't particularly enjoy the work the first time around and things have changed a lot in 27 years! I've had books to cover and a parent meeting to attend. Jake's had handwriting homework to practise, a simple sentence to read (I am me) and Friday's homework was to begin preparing an oral for 2 weeks time. My baby has to stand up and tell 29 kids 6 things about himself - I'm scared for him. The oral is written and he knows his lines, so now we just need to work on presentation and standing still while saying 6 lines.
One of the things I'm being a pain in the butt about (perhaps it's lessons learnt from my past) is that we get homework done as early in the day as possible. We literally get home, Jake gets changed, I prepare lunch, we eat and then tackle homework. I'm hoping that the trend sticks, but I'm sure he'll need a lot more motivating as he gets older. He's already not keen on doing his homework, so I can only imagine what the future holds!!
Anyway, it's all systems go and I'm starting walking/jogging tomorrow morning with a friend. I'm super, super unfit and have never ever run in my life, so it should be interesting. The lady I'm running with has promised me 2 weeks of walking only, then we'll slowly start to build things up to a jog. She also thinks she can get me fit enough to run a 21km race at the end of the year. Hahahahahaha... I'm all kitted out with gorgeous New Balance gear, so I look the part, I'm just not sure I can act it. Fingers crossed that by the end of the year, I'm a lot fitter than I am right now. It's time to get in shape!
Sending lots of love,Sue X
I make sure that his lunch box is packed the night before and that his uniform is ironed and ready for him to get himself dressed in the morning. We wake up early each day (6am), which gives us time to take it easy in the mornings. I don't do frantic very well. It's easy for now because the weather is good, but I'm pretty sure that when winter comes, we'll lie in until the last minute and then there'll be a mad scramble to get ready and to school before the bell rings at 7:55. For now, we are trying to walk to school as often as we can, which gives us time to chat and get our blood pumping before the day begins. Jake seems to enjoy this time together and chats non-stop all the way to school. It's only about a 15 minute walk, so I have plenty of time to walk/jog home and get ready for work.
So far, drop-offs have gone well. I've managed to hold it together for him (sometimes only just), although I do find myself thinking about him so much during the day and I can't wait to get home to him each afternoon to hear all about his day. I think that having had time to get used to him going off to pre-school (and playgroup before that) first makes leaving him much easier for me. Still, it's a big school, with around 1200 kids, and he's just a little guy. He's only 6 and no matter which way you look at it, at 6, they're really still babies.
On Thursday morning, he went to school with a sore tummy. He was fine when I left him, but by the time his Auntie Josette & 2 cousins arrived at school, he was in tears. Thankfully, Josette stayed with him until the bell rang and he was able to go into his classroom. The teacher said he was fine as soon as they got going. On Friday and again this morning, he had a wobbly lip, but he has managed to hold it together. It is heartbreaking to leave them when you know that they're uncertain. As a mother and while Jake is in my care, it's my job to protect him. To keep him safe and to give him the happiest childhood possible. It's very hard to let go and to watch your children making mistakes as they grow and learn how to be independent people.
Other than that, Jake has already had homework to do. Some days he has less than others, but it's been a bit of a reality check for me. I'm not sure I'm properly prepared for doing school all over again - I didn't particularly enjoy the work the first time around and things have changed a lot in 27 years! I've had books to cover and a parent meeting to attend. Jake's had handwriting homework to practise, a simple sentence to read (I am me) and Friday's homework was to begin preparing an oral for 2 weeks time. My baby has to stand up and tell 29 kids 6 things about himself - I'm scared for him. The oral is written and he knows his lines, so now we just need to work on presentation and standing still while saying 6 lines.
One of the things I'm being a pain in the butt about (perhaps it's lessons learnt from my past) is that we get homework done as early in the day as possible. We literally get home, Jake gets changed, I prepare lunch, we eat and then tackle homework. I'm hoping that the trend sticks, but I'm sure he'll need a lot more motivating as he gets older. He's already not keen on doing his homework, so I can only imagine what the future holds!!
Anyway, it's all systems go and I'm starting walking/jogging tomorrow morning with a friend. I'm super, super unfit and have never ever run in my life, so it should be interesting. The lady I'm running with has promised me 2 weeks of walking only, then we'll slowly start to build things up to a jog. She also thinks she can get me fit enough to run a 21km race at the end of the year. Hahahahahaha... I'm all kitted out with gorgeous New Balance gear, so I look the part, I'm just not sure I can act it. Fingers crossed that by the end of the year, I'm a lot fitter than I am right now. It's time to get in shape!
Sending lots of love,Sue X
Monday, January 17, 2011
17 January 2011
We were up early, so that Jake could get ready and have breakfast before his visitors arrived to see him all dressed and ready for his first day. Danie was our designated photographer - thanks, Babe, you did a great job. I haven't got time to edit any of these pictures - I just have to get them up. If you wait for me to edit them, it'll be like my Christmas photos...
So, this is Jake dressed in his new uniform about 3 minutes after waking up...
He was having a problem keeping his eyes open for the photos, so he was trying to force his eyes wide open for the camera. Check how big his bag is for him...
His first visitor was Auntie Tam. She's teaching at Jake's school for the first term, which is super cool for him. She brought him a little good luck bunny (he left it at home)...
His Granny and Grandad also popped in...
As did Auntie Rosie and Uncle Gareth. Connor was there with my parents, but he didn't really want to be in any of the photos. Connor's top says '100% trouble'..
With Nini and Pa. My mom said she had a really tough time holding it together this morning...
EXCITED!!!
Becky & Abi were also excited for their first day of the new term. Becky is starting grade 3 and Abi's going to grade 5. Jake feels really excited to have his cousins at the same school as him for the first time...
A family snap. I look like I'm holding in a wee... thanks for my new dress, Danie xxx
Jake with all his cousins. Corky really didn't feel like being a part of it. I can't believe the size difference - almost a head between each age. Abi's 10, Becky's 8, Jake's 6 and Connor's nearly 2...
Me with the kids without shoes on. It won't be long before they're all towering above me...
Jake getting a last minute haircut. I totally forgot about it and he was looking a little woolly around the ears. Thanks mom!
He is so going to get into trouble for putting his hands in his pockets, but it does look cute. I might stitch them closed for him...
A last snap of the boys together before heading off to school...
And one of Jake & I...
At school, Jake had to put his bag in the line outside his classroom. Then we had a bit of time to walk around outside and chat to a few friends who'd come over from other grades to wish Jake well for his first day...
When the teacher opened the classroom door, we were able to go inside with the kids to see them to their desks and put on their name badges. Jake is sitting next to Henry and the two of them seemed quite happy to chat to one another. There are another 4 kids in their little group of desks. What I wouldn't give to be a fly on the wall...
All the happy snapping, proud parents. Jake's teacher is in the pink. She's very sweet and I just know that Jake is going to have such a happy year with her. It's hard to believe that by Easter time, he'll be able to read quite a bit. Shortly after this picture, Mrs Rautenbach greeted all the parents and asked us to say our last goodbyes to the kids. Jake was totally happy to see us go and he seemed a little disappointed that I hadn't cried over leaving him. It was hard to be sad, when he was just so, so excited!!! Quite funny to think that this was my classroom when I was his age - 27 years ago!...
School finishes at 12:30 till the end of Jan and then 1pm after that. I keep thinking about him and wondering what they're doing. Right now it's break time and I hope that he's surrounded by lots of new friends while he stuffs his face on a delicious snack that he insisted on packing for himself last night before he went to bed, while I was ironing his uniform. I can't wait to fetch him later to hear all about his fabulous day! It's just so exciting.
Sue X
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