Last weekend was amazing! To have Jake back with Michael and Cameron was just fantastic and their mom is keen for them to spend more time together going forward, which really made us super happy. Jake landed up spending the evening with the boys too and I collected him at 10pm - they had so much fun together. It was very bittersweet and it made my heart hurt a lot, but I believe that I have dealt with Marius' break up and I realised that I am really missing the boys most of all now. It's been about 9 months since we split up and I think I will have a very different attitude towards relationships going forward - lessons have been learned over broken hearts.
Besides the excitement of Saturday, Jake had a scout competition on Sunday, which they did terribly in, but really enjoyed. It was an orienteering competition, which is map work. They spent the afternoon running around the Helderberg Nature Reserve and the weather was glorious, so he had tons of fun. I ate sushi and drank wine at home on my own...
Jake's been doing a lot of extra rugby training, which has really started to boost his confidence in the game and he's already looking forward to next season. He's got his heart set on making it to the first team and his "Saturday coach" is training him up to be a fly half. He told me this week, that Jake's improved by 100% since he started the extra training. They'll continue throughout summer too, so by next season he'll be fit and ready.
Jake continues to do swimming training. He's doing really well at it, even if he doesn't always feel like the training sessions - mostly because he's not 100% swimming fit yet. He trains twice a week for an hour at a time and yesterday managed to do 4kms with his team. He still doesn't want to swim competitively, so just doing it for fitness, which I love.
I've begun walking on the treadmill at the gym again too while Jake trains. Mostly just walking for now and I'm actually enjoying it quite a bit. Gym is boring, but it's a whole hour that I sit alongside the pool and do nothing, so might as well walk.
This weekend is also set to be a pretty busy one. I'm going out to dinner with a friend tonight and Jake's got training tomorrow as well as moving their scout goods out of storage and back into their hall (they had their hall's roof replaced). Sunday so far seems to be free and we are looking forward to taking the day slowly and deciding what to do as we feel like it. Jake's got a test next week, so I guess he'll have to study a bit too.
OK, better run. Sending love and have a great weekend, Sue XXX
Friday, September 16, 2016
Friday, September 9, 2016
The boys...
These boys. Oh how my heart misses them and how I long for them to be together. My 3 little amigos...
Jake had some exciting news this week - the boys are missing him as much as he's missing them and when Michael was told that he could bring a friend to Cameron's birthday party tomorrow morning, he wanted Jake to join them. So, tomorrow is a fairly big day for us and Jake is literally bouncing off the walls. It was the first thing he told me this morning - "I'm seeing Michael & Cameron tomorrow!!". Besides bumping into them quickly at Canal Walk once, they haven't seen each other since last December! Considering that Jake thought of them as his brothers, that's a long time!
Like proper brothers, these three used to fight like cats and dogs and I guess they all had their issues over one thing or another, but at the end of the day, they were like family for 2 1/2 years. That's a long time in a child's life. For Jake, coming from a home where he is an only child, it was fantastic for him to experience life with "siblings". At least every other weekend. We hated the weekends that Michael and Cameron were with their mom and used to look forward to the next one when the kids would be back with us again.
Even though our break up wasn't my decision, I've felt really guilty for the hurt that's been caused to them through it. They were the innocent victims in a grown up mess. The worst part is that we weren't able to say goodbye and we've done our best to pick up the pieces of our lives and move forward. There's really no other way to go. We've had limited contact with the boys via Instagram, but it's not the same. Things change for them tomorrow and I hope that their friendship can grow again. It will be different and I don't want anything to do with their father (he won't be at the party tomorrow), so time spent together will be through the boy's mom, but hopefully this is a small stepping stone.
I am so nervous about tomorrow too. I feel like our hearts are starting to heal again and I am scared that this is going to open up old wounds for us, but we wouldn't miss it for the world and it's also nice to know that the boys are missing Jake a lot too. Fingers crossed that all the therapy Jake's been through this year will stand him in good stead tomorrow. And hopefully I don't just sit and cry!
Love,
Sue XXX
Friday, September 2, 2016
Growing up...
How did life get so complicated? And so busy? We seem to spend the terms rushing from one activity to the next and the weeks seem to fly by in no time at all. How can it already be September? And Christmas is just around the corner. Again. They say that, as you get older, time moves faster and it's quite frightening that our kids are already noticing how fast life moves.
When we were kids, it felt like time moved in slow motion. We had time to swim all afternoon and enjoyed countless hours riding bikes and playing with our friends at the park across the road. We made up games and ran around the garden, making fairy gardens under my parent's pampas grass. We used to use empty snail shells as flower pots in our fairy garden. We used to have sleep overs and watch movies and parties where all of our friends were welcome. Somehow it feels that a lot of that is lost on our kids today. They just don't have the time.
I'm very aware of the fact that our children are living in a fast-paced society, but every now and then I just wish that I could press pause and slow life down a bit. Move into the country for a year or two. Do you know what I mean? It seems that the year moves from Christmas to New Year, to Valentine's Day, Easter, birthdays, school holidays and back to Christmas again. It's a blur.
This year has been a fairly tough year for Jake and I in many ways. Jake took Marius' break up very hard and he misses Michael and Cameron so much, it's so sad to watch. I've learned a lot through that whole ordeal too. It's taken months of counseling for Jake and we're slowly starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Jake seems much happier in himself too, which is great. I think our holiday helped us deal with a lot of our issues that we were trying to be brave about; it just gave us time to be us and to talk things through.
Jake's also been trying out a much lower dosage of his Concerta this year - he's gone from 36mg to just 18mg and he has a lot more bounce in his step! That said, his concentration is definitely lacking a bit and I don't think that he's coping as well as he says he is. We've been giving 27mg a go this week and he's had to admit that he feels that this dosage helps him concentrate better. He doesn't like having to take his meds, but they are essential if he wants to pass.
Other than that, believe it or not, we've started exploring high school options and went for a tour of a BEAUTIFUL private school this week. Unfortunately, it was just too far out of our price-range and so we have to keep looking until we find the right school. I would really have liked for Jake to have gone private, as I think that he would benefit hugely from being in a smaller class and obviously moving from our government syllabus to Cambridge curriculum would be awesome, especially as it would give him an internationally recognised qualification. Either way we go, at this stage, it looks like we will be traveling outside of our area for high school. So many choices and decisions - all boys vs co-ed, private vs public. Oh the joys of being a single mom!
Jake and I are also staying with my mom and dad again. We had a last minute rental offer on our house and moved out last weekend, with our new tenant moving in yesterday. We love being with my folks and so this is a great way for us to earn extra money to pay school fees, or save up for the next holiday!
Anyway, I guess what I'm sort of trying to say is that I'm sorry for being an absent blogger lately. My mind's been distracted in a thousand different directions! We're good though and moving forward and, most importantly, we're happy!
Wishing you all a wonderful weekend!
Sending love, Sue XXX
When we were kids, it felt like time moved in slow motion. We had time to swim all afternoon and enjoyed countless hours riding bikes and playing with our friends at the park across the road. We made up games and ran around the garden, making fairy gardens under my parent's pampas grass. We used to use empty snail shells as flower pots in our fairy garden. We used to have sleep overs and watch movies and parties where all of our friends were welcome. Somehow it feels that a lot of that is lost on our kids today. They just don't have the time.
I'm very aware of the fact that our children are living in a fast-paced society, but every now and then I just wish that I could press pause and slow life down a bit. Move into the country for a year or two. Do you know what I mean? It seems that the year moves from Christmas to New Year, to Valentine's Day, Easter, birthdays, school holidays and back to Christmas again. It's a blur.
This year has been a fairly tough year for Jake and I in many ways. Jake took Marius' break up very hard and he misses Michael and Cameron so much, it's so sad to watch. I've learned a lot through that whole ordeal too. It's taken months of counseling for Jake and we're slowly starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Jake seems much happier in himself too, which is great. I think our holiday helped us deal with a lot of our issues that we were trying to be brave about; it just gave us time to be us and to talk things through.
Jake's also been trying out a much lower dosage of his Concerta this year - he's gone from 36mg to just 18mg and he has a lot more bounce in his step! That said, his concentration is definitely lacking a bit and I don't think that he's coping as well as he says he is. We've been giving 27mg a go this week and he's had to admit that he feels that this dosage helps him concentrate better. He doesn't like having to take his meds, but they are essential if he wants to pass.
Other than that, believe it or not, we've started exploring high school options and went for a tour of a BEAUTIFUL private school this week. Unfortunately, it was just too far out of our price-range and so we have to keep looking until we find the right school. I would really have liked for Jake to have gone private, as I think that he would benefit hugely from being in a smaller class and obviously moving from our government syllabus to Cambridge curriculum would be awesome, especially as it would give him an internationally recognised qualification. Either way we go, at this stage, it looks like we will be traveling outside of our area for high school. So many choices and decisions - all boys vs co-ed, private vs public. Oh the joys of being a single mom!
Jake and I are also staying with my mom and dad again. We had a last minute rental offer on our house and moved out last weekend, with our new tenant moving in yesterday. We love being with my folks and so this is a great way for us to earn extra money to pay school fees, or save up for the next holiday!
Anyway, I guess what I'm sort of trying to say is that I'm sorry for being an absent blogger lately. My mind's been distracted in a thousand different directions! We're good though and moving forward and, most importantly, we're happy!
Wishing you all a wonderful weekend!
Sending love, Sue XXX
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