There are so many rewards in being a parent. Watching a baby grow into an independent being and loving that being so unconditionally, is the greatest gift on earth. Helping them figure out life, is so rewarding in so many ways.
Parenting has many challenges for any couple. Financially it's a strain to extend your family. To go from two, to three of four people is huge jump and the changes to your financial priorities happens fast. We all tend to put our kids first. Their education should always be our priority. They need to have clothes to wear and a roof over their head. But the financial stretch doesn't come even close to the emotional stretch. I didn't know that my heart had so much room in it, until I looked into Jake's blue eyes that very first time. There's nothing that can prepare you for that rush of emotion. And it continues throughout their lives. Each time they reach a milestone or achieve (sometimes overachieve), your heart swells a little more.
There's a lot to be said for sharing this feeling with your partner. Granted, I only had a few moments to treasure Jake with Jacques, but we did. Jacques loved his son so much and was so proud of his boy. He loved walking through the shops with his tiny bundle in his arms and the attention it brought him. Sadly, many kids grow up in broken homes, with parents who fight and hurt and hate. I'd rather be a single parent than put my child through that kind of emotional trauma.
Single parenting is tough. It's can't be easy sharing holidays or sending your little tots away for weekends. It would break my heart and I am selfishly so glad that I have Jake all to myself. Don't get me wrong, I'd rather be a whole, happy family, but I can't have that, so I'm grateful that I get to have every Christmas and birthday and everything with Jake. Single parenting brings fighting over maintenance and time, but it also brings two grown ups that generally have their kids best interest at heart. I don't have that. There's a difference between single parenting and only parenting. Only parenting means nobody to confer with over your child's issues. Nobody to back you up in an argument. Nobody to discipline an unruly teen. It means no second income. Shopping for Christmas presents on your own (yes, I know many married women do this too, but that's a choice). Nobody to bounce ideas off. Nobody to plan holidays with. It's really all up to one person to do everything and to make all the decisions, financial, well-being and emotional. No back up guy.
So when people ask me why I live with my parents, I have two answers. 1st, why wouldn't I? We get on so well and it's really so great to have backup. My mom is incredible and has helped me so much with raising Jake. They have an unbelievable bond and that's something money can't buy. I've always said that Jake just wants time. We have enough space in our old family home and it works well for us. It might change with time, but for now, we're very happy with where we are. Plus, there are people to talk to when my teenager goes into hiding. 2nd, it makes financial sense. We are able to rent out our home and use the extra income to cover the cost of living. And let's face it - life has gotten crazy expensive this year!
So, only parenting vs single parenting is a whole different ball game. They both come with challenges and rewards. I guess you just take what you've got and get on with it as best you can. And enjoy the ride!
Love,
Sue xxx
