Forgotten days...

 Our holidays seem like they were so long ago.  Despite all the dramas that we've faced, Jake and I had a good holiday.  We spent too much time watching TV and being very lazy, but it was what we needed.  That and to be with the people who care about us most.  2016 has had a very slow start for us, personally.  It's the way we like it.

We spent time in Kommetjie with Jake's wonderful grandparents.  Above, Jake's looking for mussels with his granny and grandpa, which we used to make THE most delicious mussel pot I've ever had - I am converted!

Views from the beach...

 Jake worked very hard and found plenty of mussels.  Yum, yum...

 Rosie and Gareth spoiled us with the most delicious braai for Christmas Eve at their house.  It's so exciting to be able to share this stage with Rylee and Jake is really enjoying having another younger cousin in the family.  And despite his uber-cool hair cut, he's not to big to behave like a little kid too.  Best of both...

 Gorgeous boys...

 Despite his serious face, Jake was playing so nicely with Rylee, makes his mommy's heart mealt...

 My little Gogga - he's getting more and more handsome by the day...

 Rosie's clever Christmas place settings...

 Jake got hold of my camera while we were chatting (and drinking wine) and took the next two pics...

 Perhaps he will be the family photographer from now on...

 Bed time came too quickly and Rylee was very excited with the carrots for the reindeer and snacks for Father Christmas...

   Rylee and Gareth...

 Add Rosie...

 Add Jake and Hilux...

 Add grandparents...

 And a last selfie...

 Goodnight kisses...

 Jake and Hilux (winking)...

 We went to go see Rylee opening his presents on Christmas morning - he was still excited with the carrots...

 Jake decided to save his goodies to open with Rylee...

 Rylee was well into the swing of things and loved his big ball, before he'd even unwrapped it.  He also loves his new broom...

 And his spade...

 Jake got some new treat t-shirts.  He's getting so big now, his t-shirts fit me and he takes me up to the bridge of my nose...

 Rylee really knows what presents are this year and he really enjoyed himself...

 Brave boy...

 Jake was spoiled this year.  I did get a really awesome Christmas bonus this year, so it was an extra extra and he has put money in towards it, plus is for his birthday and Christmas combined - please don't judge me...

 Whoo-hoo - a set of wheels!  It looks nothing like the picture on the box any more - it's rolled and rolled and the paint has chipped a bit...

Christmas lunch was a relaxed one at my mom's house...  It was really lovely that we could all be together this year for a change.  Here's Jo and Corky, who's just started grade 1!!

 Sharing gifts between each other is always exciting.  We decided only to do for the kids this year...

 Our pretty table...

 Rylee enjoying chocolates before lunch...

 Bi got a flutterby from Nini and Pa... it moves away from your hands, so you can direct it and keep it up - the whole family had fun with it on Christmas morning...

 Bi almost couldn't believe it, real magic...

 Completely tickled...

 Corky's very into his lego and he makes the most amazing things...

 We decorated the table with Polaroid photos that we took on Christmas morning of the family...

 And after lunch, there was plenty of time for relaxing and swimming.  I might have fallen asleep on a couch somewhere...

 New Year's Eve was a very quiet affair for us, but you know us, life is never boring.  Jake decided that he was going to get dressed up and borrowed a tie from Pa to wear with his t-shirt...

 Pa copied Jake and Nini and I also got a bit dressed up.  There was lots of champagne and wine and we had the most divine steak braai ever.  It was just the 4 of us, but that was what we needed this year...

 Jake helped with the braai and it was a really relaxed evening.  We swam and giggled and it was really a lovely evening.  I am very lucky to have the parents that I do, they take such good care of Jake and I...

 And then, before we knew it, it was time for back to school.  We didn't see much of Abi and Becky during the holidays, because they've been super busy with their training schedules.  Becky (left) started high school though and so we had to see her in her uniform on her first morning!

Besides that, we went through to Fish Hoek to swim a few times, visited friends and family and really, really had a quite holiday.  Duracell took a bit of a bad turn towards the end of the holidays and has hurt his leg.  He will be 15 on 4 July and so we know that we have to make the kind decision for him, but I couldn't do it to Jake in the holidays, he'd already had a difficult one.  Duracell is not in pain and is still eating, so we're keeping him comfortable for as long as we can.

Back to school is always a tough time.  We don't like getting back into routine and it is busy.  Jake's in grade 6 this year and it's frightening to think that by the end of this year, he'll be half way through his school career.  He has a lovely teacher and this is the first year that the kids move to different teachers for various subjects, which takes a bit of adjusting.  Jake's also decided to work hard on keeping his work up-to-date and has already started making study notes for June/July exams... be prepared - that's a good scout!!

Jake and I have put our USA trip plans on hold too.  The Dollar is not working in our favour and we were looking at well over R100K for a 3 week trip.  We have, instead, booked to go back to Kruger in the June/July holidays and we are VERY excited about it.  Because we've booked last minute, we have had to take the scraps as far as accommodation goes and we'll be moving around a bit, but that just adds to the adventure.  We're flying in to Nelspruit and hiring a car from there.  I think Skukuza is about 1 1/2 hours away from Nelspruit.  It'll just be Jake and I this time and we have a full 16 nights in the park! We are already counting the days!

Hope the start of 2016 has been good to you all!  2016 has definitely started far better for us than 2015 ended.

Sending love,

Sue XXX

Back again...

A month and 2 days have passed since Marius and his boys left our lives...  It's been a very tough month for Jake and I indeed.  There's not a day that passes that Jake doesn't mention the boys and our hearts have ached their way through the holidays, constantly wondering what they're doing.  

We've had time to grieve for the relationships lost, not only with Marius, but with his boys, his mom, his sisters and our friends...  it's a bitter pill to swallow after devoting 2 1/2 years of our lives to all these people.   I don't know the real reasons for Marius leaving me, perhaps I never will.  I can't get my head around the fact that Marius' reason was a fear of commitment - it just doesn't make sense after 2 1/2 years.  2 months, maybe, but not this long.  I cannot help but believe that there must be someone else, why else would he have quit on us or given up without discussion?  One of the many things I learned when Jacques died, is that you can drive yourself completely mad by asking "why?", so I'm trying not to, but it isn't easy.  I have had to accept that Marius just didn't love me; crazy how happy I was and how blissfully unaware I was of his unhappiness...

Besides feeling like we have to avoid the beach where Marius lives, we do miss it there.  We have always loved Blouberg beach and the Blue Peter Restaurant has always been one of our favourites.  Both Jake and I are nervous about bumping into Marius though.  We are unsure of how we will react - I'm sure I would just say hello and keep walking, while Jake has threatened to kick him in the balls and flick a finger if he sees him.  I'm sure it's just talk and he would also be polite - it's how he's been raised.  But the boys... oh the boys, I think I would go running after them if I saw them!!  Jake says he would just hug them so tight.  So we've avoided the chance of bumping in to any of them all together... it's been tough!!
 
So... 2016 is here!  It's a new year and time for a new start for us.  As most of you know, I don't do sad very well... Jake and I have spent plenty of days doing very little, besides swimming at home and being with our family and closest friends.  They are the ones who love us unconditionally and who know how to make us smile again.  Jake has had a good, restful holiday and that was what we both needed.

2016 will be very different from how I'd imagined it would be, but we have lots of plans in the pipeline, all of them travel-related.  We have rented our house out for 3 months and will be moving in with my parents - it's a great way for us to earn some extra cash and to be able to travel more.  Our first trip is going to be to visit friends in the USA and we are really looking forward to starting our plans on that.  Where to go and how much could we squeeze into one big holiday??  Hopefully we'll be able to plan another trip to Kruger soon and we also have some plans for a holiday in Greece again...  watch this spot, we are definitely going places!!

I hope that everyone else has had a wonderful Christmas and New Year, may 2016 be everything that you hoped it would be!  I will share some holiday snaps (there aren't many) as soon as I can!

Sending love,
Sue XXX