Well not really, it's just that I'm fiercely protective of my beautiful boy. Like a momma bear. Sure, he's not an angel; in fact, sometimes, he's the complete opposite! But he's mine and I wouldn't change him for anything. He's more precious than anything else in the whole entire world and I love him to pieces.
Being a single parent is a challenge and it's so difficult to know whether you're making the right decisions. It's difficult not to be over-protective. It's difficult to be even tempered and to always put a child's needs ahead of your own. It's difficult to not be selfish sometimes. My biggest challenge with Jake is that he's a dawdler. Part of it is genetic - his dad was never punctual! Nothing happens quickly for him and his ADD is a very big challenge for me! I am not as patient with him as I should be, even though I do try my very best. It's extremely frustrating to live with someone who can take 2 hours to get dressed and ready for school in the mornings.
His ADD is a far bigger problem then I'd realised before I put him on Ritalin. I know it's such a contraversial medication and so many people disagree with the fact that Jake's on it, but it helps him in every single facet of his life. Once he's had his meds, he's more even-tempered, less over-sensitive, he has a better sense of humour, he can enjoy rough play, without taking it to the next level, he can hold a conversation without drifting off mid-sentence, he gets his homework done, he's more reasonable and less irritating. Living with a kid with ADD is not easy. Doing it one on one every day is HARD work! And yet, I wouldn't change a thing about him. I think ADD is character building and it will help him understand people with problems all through life. It's a challenge that he needs to learn to live with and he needs to learn to overcome. Hopefully some of what I'm teaching him will help him to be a more organised man one day.
I've rambled totally off course here... My photo was taken last year at Jake's cub's prize-giving. He won 3 awards, including cub of the year. Jake is a very enthusiastic cub. He loves everything about his Wednesday evenings with his troop and never misses out on an excursion with the group either. I love that he has done cubs; I think it's taught him some fabulous life-skills. It's good old fashioned fun, kids running around and making a noise. They have formal prayer ceremonies at the beginning and end of each meeting. Jake's biggest reward is earning badges. He loves badges and his sleeves are full. I do plan to do a post on this sometime soon too.
BUT...
Today, Jake is going off on a cub's camp. They're not going far from home and I am fetching him at 1 on Sunday. He has been very excited about it until this week, when he's suddenly decided that he doesn't actually want to go, he doesn't want to leave me and he hates camps. I know he doesn't like not knowing where I am or what I'm doing - my little cub is also very protective. Don't get me wrong, I have no false-pretenses about the camp - I know that once he's said goodbye and driven off, he'll be very excited. The weekend is going to be great and they have another group of cubs joining them, plus the scouts that he will be joining next year will be there too. He is going to have a ball. Still... he doesn't want to go. He has admitted that he likes to make me feel bad that he's got to go, so I know part of this is a mind game for him.
Plus... It's the first time that Marius and I have got no kids at all for the entire weekend (well, until lunch time on Sunday & excluding New Zealand) and I have to selfishly admit that I'm really looking forward to sleeping in late, going out for dinner and just being on my own. I don't ever want to not be "mom", but I am looking forward to a weekend of no responsibility and without having to argue and make decisions for someone else.
I know that Jake is going to be safe and that he's going to sing songs and braai marshmallows around the fire. He's going to love sleeping in a tent and he is going to do his first aid badge too. He is going to have so much to tell me so well and I know he's going to have such a wonderful adventure. Absence makes the heart grow fonder too and I'm already looking forward to Sunday afternoon, when I can have him back again!!
Enjoy the camp out, Jake, it's going to be fabulous! I love you so much and can't wait to hear all about it. Look after you and I'll look after me. Love you XXX
Enjoy your weekend everyone XXX
