This Friday Photo: Texture

OK, so I'm not 100% sure that this fits the theme, but anyway, here goes. This is a sunflower we had in a vase in our lounge. Taken with my Nikon D80 and my Nikon f2.8 105mm macro lens...

Last Friday's Photo: Fun

Last week Tuesday, I came home to this:

Jake had gotten bored sometime during the day and was very proud of the work of art he'd created on the back of his bedroom door. From left to right it's a shark, a bird, a tree, a South African Flag and a jelly fish. All created with face paints (who in their right mind bought those for my 4 year old's birthday) and beautifully decorated with silver glitter glue. Sorry, not the greatest quality photo and I don't have time to do anything about it right now. Needless to say, bad mother that I am, I was pretty chuffed with his creation and I'm not in any rush to remove it from the door. Actually, I wish I could protect it and keep to show his own kids one day when they draw all over his walls. And, on the bright side, at least it wasn't poo that he was painting with. And he's just so darned proud of it...

XXX

I've just...

I had to go to the bank for work, there was no Q, so I didn't feel bad sticking my head in at Woolworths. In about 5 minutes (including Q time), I bought 2 thin jerseys (or jersies?) - one pink, one orange, a white top, a pair of very light grey pants, leggings (yes, for me!), a red handbag (I believe they're the thing to have this winter and it doesn't matter what colour shoes you wear with them!) and 2 necklaces. What a rush, I feel giddy. For someone who wishes she could do all her shopping online so that she never has to put a foot inside a shopping center, I didn't do too badly, did I?

Hope you all have a great weekend!!

Lots of love, Sue

XXX

So...

I bumped into Doug last night. Remember him? Some of you might - I dated him for about 5 months too long, not very long after Jacques died. It was about 1 1/2 years after and in hind sight that was far, fff-aaaaaaaaaa-rrrrr too soon. Doug was fun and I managed to convince myself that I was enjoying the adventure, partly with stars in my eyes. Again, in hind sight, I think that it was me trying to pretend that I was OK, which I wasn't, that I'd moved on and was ready to start my life over again. It was nice to be cared for, although not pampered - Doug never had money. At the age of 30, he was still a student. Studying to become a teacher at that. Shame, he'll always be poor. Not that money impresses me in the slightest, but it would be nice not to feel continually like I was living on the edge. It would've been like that if I'd stayed with Doug. Anyway, it was nice to have someone's hand to hold again when I went out. I felt protected, kind of.

Doug was always a player and has a string of ex-girlfriends as long as the street outside. Instead of this being a warning sign to me, I guess it sort of made him easy bait. And he somehow manages to stay friends with ex-girlfriends, which I found very threatening. I could not bring myself to trust him. Anyway, he is very good friends with Wes, who was best man to Jacques at our wedding. So, Doug's getting married on Saturday and Wes & Lizelle are here for the wedding, which is in De Doorns. Wes is going to be Doug's bestman. Doug's getting married. Kinda weird, you'd think, but I feel completely nothing about it. Honest. When I saw him last night and he looked at me a little too deeply, I realised more then ever, how pleased (and lucky) I am that I saw through our relationship early enough not to have fallen into it for the long haul. I don't trust him and I never could and that was the biggest down fall in our relationship. Oh, and I didn't like him disciplining Jake. Not the actual act of him doing the disciplining, but the way he did it. I hated it when he whined "Jaaaaaaaayyyyyk, listen to your mommmy". And he was always tickling Jake and winding him up, which used to drive me mad. I really don't mind people putting Jake in his place if he needs it, but there's a certain way you deal with little kids. Jake was 2 at the time.

Anyway, please don't read this as me being sour grapes, I'm really, really not. I'm VERY relieved that it's not me. Not that I wouldn't like to settle down and get married and have a couple more kids. I just don't feel anything over the fact that Doug's getting married...

XXX

The weekend...

The weekend has come and gone - far too quickly. It was an exhausting weekend, but Jake had a ball and we were both spoilt beyond words. We were up early on Saturday morning, getting things ready for the party and the morning literally flew by. Jake was not impressed that it was my birthday on his birthday party day - it was so bad, that when a couple of friends sang happy birthday to me right at the end of the party, he walked away with his hands on his ears. Brat. By Saturday evening, once we'd cleaned up and all our guests had gone home, I was finished. We got Chinese take-outs and put a movie on. About 30 minutes into it, I started to fall asleep, so went to bed. I was asleep well before 9 'o clock. Much to my sisters' disgust - they'd expected me to go out and celebrate. Never mind that that was all I'd done all day. Actually, having Jake's party on my birthday was heaps of fun and made the day really festive. Plus, I spent it with so many friends, it was really great.

I must also say here (and I'm not sure where to put this in my post, so sorry if it's a bit out of place), but I am SO convinced that Jacques was with us at Jake's party. Firstly, I had a tiny white feather drift down as the first guests arrived. Those of you who know me, know that I believe quite strongly that feathers are symbolic of the presence of angels. Especially little white ones that appear unexpectedly in odd places. Just seems to me that this one was there for me to notice. Secondly, a very close friend's child said to her during the party - "mommy look at the pretty lights around the jumping castle". She asked him what he'd said, he repeated, she asked what lights and he told her "never mind". Very weird and these two little stories have convinced me that Jacques was there looking down on us, far closer then we realised. Emotionally, the day went really well for me - my birthday is way easier to face then Jake's. I guess mine doesn't hold the promises that Jake's birth held for us 4 years ago and I tend to harp on that on Jake's birthday.

Anyway, Sunday was a lazy day at home with Jake. We got up and baked (cake for me to bring to work) and then got stuck into cleaning out his bedroom. I'd just dumped all his new toys in his room on Saturday. We literally spent the entire morning and most of the afternoon, opening boxes, putting batteries in things, testing out new games and finding new homes for all his new things. And boy, oh boy, was he spoilt. We also watched a DVD and he rode his bike a bit. We played in the garden (me with my camera). The weather on Saturday was unbelievably perfect and yesterday, although warm, was overcast and threatening a storm most of the day, with a bit of rain in the evening.

And, without any further rambling, here are my photos from the weekend. Completely unedited in anyway, I know some need a bit of adjusting and fixing up, but I just wanted to get them up. I like the ones of Jake & I, because I'm always behind the camera, I don't get that many of the 2 of us...

All decked out and ready for the kids to arrive...

Jake, Jodie & Maia (Jodie's younger sister). My son likes older women (me included). I just hope he grows...

Singing happy birthday. These are about 1/3 of the guests...

Jake cutting up his cake for his friends...

The first piece of cake...

Jake & Jodie (she's his girlfriend)...

Jake jumped almost non-stop from Friday night, until Saturday evening when they came to collect the jumping castle again...

Me being attacked by some of the kids on the jumping castle...

The birthday kids...

Bubbles - thanks Jo & Paul for the donation, I'm really glad they forgot to put these out at your wedding...

A very happy birthday boy...

The present carnage begins. That's my sister, Jo behind us - she's the one who got married in Feb...

This one is a space monster blaster and it took up a large portion of play time yesterday. He thinks it's hysterical...

Who's more excited. Rebecca, Jake or me?

Trying to figure out how to open a sticky hand (remember those?). Warning - don't stand on them in the dark, they are cold and slimey and disgusting...

Me being spoilt. And acting like a clown...

Jake trying to figure out a can of deoderant that he got given by a friend. He loves it...

Tucking into the biggest piece of cake he could find...

No wheels...

Measuring to see how tall he's gotten in a year...

Getting his head straight so we don't miss a hair. Is that terror or excitement in his eyes?

OK, the lines are feint. My "growth chart" is to the right of Jake's. He's about half way between my height between 4 and 5. And he's grown quite a chunk since last year. Phew...

Lots of love, Sue xxx

4 years...

I can't believe I'm actually putting some of these photos on. Looking back, I can't believe I was ever this chubby. Or unattractive. Besides the bump, of course. I loved that. But seriously, look at my cheeks. Ok, it was 5:27am on a Sunday morning and I'd hardly slept and I didn't even have my mascara on (I never go anywhere without mascara). What the heck was I thinking? That nobody would take photos of me?? Anyway, me aside. Today's Jake's 4th birthday. I can't believe how the time has flown by and when I look at these pictures, it feels like just the other day that he came into our lives as a tiny, helpless bundle.

4 years ago, at this stage, I was already well into my labour and probably enjoying a few moments rest as the epidural that I'd been given just after 11 worked its 2 hours of magic (yes, it was very short-lived magic, but it was nice for a bit). Jacques and I didn't know whether our baby was to be a boy or a girl and we were both just so excited when he popped out as a little boy. Jacques cried, I cried, Jake screamed. We phoned our respective families to relay the good news and our families rushed through to visit us. Jake was born at 17:40 and the hospital visiting time was at 19:00. It was really great that everyone could be with us right from the first moments of Jake's life. We were on such a high! Today is, naturally, quite a topsy turvy day for me, emotionally. I think one's children's birthdays just generally are. In amongst my own personal emotions, I'm also very excited to be sharing today with Jake and he is VERY excited about being 4. I'm not working in town this afternoon, so will be heading home in 15 mins to go spend some special time with my "baby" on his big day.

This morning, Jake was up at 6:15, with my parents singing happy birthday to him, as they used to do for my sisters and I. Jake thoroughly enjoyed his present opening and is very chuffed with his gifts. I'm not sure what we'll be doing this afternoon, but tonight we're having pizza for supper (Jake's choice) and tomorrow morning, we've got his party at 11:30. We've all be working really hard to make it extra special for him this year - there aren't many years when one can overdo it for them, so I feel I have to make it special while I can. Also, being my only child, I think I am entitled to overdo it. So, then just to say a very happy birthday to my darling big boy, Jake, I hope that you continue to have a wonderful time as we all enjoy spoiling you today. I love you with all my heart, Mommy xxx

Oh, also to Lee and Roo - happy birthday to you both. I hope you are both spoilt this weekend too. I'll definitely be having a drink (or 2 or 3) on you both as we celebrate this weekend! Quite a weekend for birthdays, isn't it??

And here are my photos for Jake's birthday today...

This is me 5 1/2 hours into labour (please, please, please don't look anywhere above my shoulders. And if you do, please don't judge me, I was in labour.)...

Out of the oven and into the bath. Sorry, it's a bit blurred, I didn't take the photos. Check how blue his hands and feet were. I didn't even notice, but he did go into an incubator over night...

This is probably one of my favourite photos from the day Jake was born - I could still just about eat that little face right up...

Our happy little family the morning after...

Jake opening presents this morning - check out those just opened over-excited beautiful eyes...

I took this yesterday of Jake looking after a baby one of my mom's customer's is caring for until he goes to his new adoptive parents. He's a HIV orphan, but is HIV free. Jake was quite keen to keep him...

This is what my mom and I were doing until just before midnight last night. Bet the kids won't even appreciate it... Lots of love and birthday wishes, Sue xxx

Friday Photo: Oh so BBC Food

I took this of my starter at dinner club on Tuesday evening. Cauliflower & Hazelnut Ravioli...