Bitch & Wine...

That's the name of our book club - don't laugh, if you knew us well enough, you'd understand that it's very apt.  Our book club's been running for 8 years this year.  We've had our differences along the way and members have come and gone. 

 From left to right: Amanda, Lauren, Becks, Christina, Lee-Anne, me, Ciska and Joanne.  Belinda's taking the picture and her sister, Wendy, is off on maternity leave after just having her first baby.

Last night, while chatting to the girls, I got thinking about the demographics of our club.  We are officially 10 members now.  Out of the 10, 3 are very single, 3 are married, 3 are divorced, 1 is widowed, 3 have kids, 2 are engaged, 2 have boyfriends, 1 is pregnant, 1 has just given birth, 1 has just gotten married, 1 just divorced 2 are foreigners (incidentally, they're the 2 that are engaged, both to South African men), 1 is just home from a long stint overseas, 1 is about to embark on a 6-week journey to Paris (lucky cow).  At nearly 34, I'm the oldest in our group and often feel like a bit of a wall flower.  Let me say, that this is a wild, crazy group of girls.  I have never lived life the way some of them do.   Not that I regret it, but it is fun seeing and hearing how the other half live. 

Over the 8 years that we've been running, we've seen each other through some pretty hectic stuff.  Breakups and makeups, deaths, divorce, babies and weddings.  For me, when I lost Jacques, hanging out with girlfriends was fabulous.  I didn't feel like the odd one out, I wasn't missing a partner, because he wouldn't have been invited anyway. We all come from very different walks of life, but that's what makes it so interesting.  We have a very strict policy of what happens in book club, stays in book club, so I can't go into more detail about what gets said and done, but it is always interesting.  There are just some things that girls get, that guys don't.  We speak to each other and listen, we empathise without trying to fix things.  It's good to get things in perspective and get other women's opinions.  Women just know women so well and it's always good spending time together. 


I really didn't feel like going out last night, I had a headache and was very tired, but, I had a really lovely evening with the girls.  Even though I got very little sleep last night, hanging out with the girls did me the world of good!!

Till next time,
Cheers! XXX

PS.  So much for book club - I forgot the books at home last night!!

Finally...

A little while ago, you might remember me writing about the Office Bitch.  Well, as of Monday, my office is officially Bitch-free!!!  Yep, our dear little misery has been dismissed and gone off to "greener pastures".  Do I feel sorry for him - heck ja!  He will never find another job where he can slack off like he has here and earn the fat salary that he had the potential to, if he'd been prepared to go out and look for clients.  I think he's a very sad, lonely, miserable person and I do feel very sorry for him for that.  I can't comment on what he's like outside the office these days, but for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, he's been like a little black cloud in the office. And it's not only me that feels this way, everybody else in the office has passed comment at some stage or another.

But, selfishly, for me, I'm ECSTATIC that I never have to be ignored by him every morning.  As much as I tried to be friendly, over the last month I caved and have just given up my politeness towards him.  I even snapped at him over not completing his one bit of work that he did incorrectly.  It was affecting my job and I can honestly say that can't and don't want "friends" who are prepared to treat others that way.  It was totally childish and uncalled for.  I can only guess that he was jealous of my relationship with my wonderful, amazing, lovely, sweet boyfriend and it was his way of getting back at me.  Tosser.  Oh, I forgot to mention, the cherry on top of the rudeness cake was that he didn't even have the courtesy to say a simple goodbye.  After 3 years of working together, he just left.  It irritates me, but I'll get over it very quickly (just hand me a glass of champagne to celebrate!!) Anyway, work is a much happier place for me right now and everyone seems more cheerful.  Danie wisely told me that I should be nicer about this, but I can't.  It's all about making choices about your mental state and the O.B. chose to be a little black rain cloud, instead of a bright yellow ray of sunshine.  I choose otherwise for myself.

Here's to many more happy days in the office...

Sue X

Today's Thought...

In life, not everything can make you happy all of the time.  And while I've always said that we are responsible for our own happiness, I'm not entirely sure that I've been completely right.  I've believed that the things that don't make us happy need to be dealt with and discarded from our minds and our lives, so that we can continue enjoying the gift of life.  But I'm learning that this isn't always possible.  That we can't take control of another person's thoughts and deeds, that some things are just totally beyond our control.   We lose friends along the way (sometimes to death, sometimes otherwise) and things happen that genuinely break our hearts at the time.  Life is hard.  It's challenging.  That said, I do believe that our outlook on life's challenges and the way we deal with them, reflect back on us as people, either negatively or positively.


So, my challenge to you today is to do a mental inventory about what makes you genuinely happy in your life.  Take stock.  Make the effort to sort out problems in your life (those that can be solved).  You'll feel better about life when you crawl between your sheets tonight.  If you have an issue with someone you love, bring it up.  Discuss it openly and honestly and hopefully, by the end of your conversation, your issues will be resolved.  The situation that was once a negative in your life will be out of the way and you can concentrate on enjoying an improved friendship.

My stock take:  I have the most wonderful, supportive family.  They are generous with their time and love and I am eternally grateful for all that they do for us.  They are the rocks in my life and I know that no matter what I say or do, they'll always be there for us.  I have an amazing boyfriend, who loves both Jake and I and I am blessed that he understands my needs.  Most of the time, anyway.  I have the most beautiful, mischievous, cheeky little boy who I adore with all my heart.  He is hard work, but I so enjoy sharing life's journey with him.  He is a real blessing to me.  Any time that life gets me down, I think about things such as these and I can't help but feel better...

Sue X

Life in general...

So, there have been things I haven't shared here.  Quite a few actually.  I'm not sure if I should even go there, but my mother always told me that a problem shared is a problem halved.  And my blog is my safe place to express my views and feelings.  So...

It's come as quite a shock to our family to learn that my dad's leukemia is back.  After having routine annual blood tests done, he was advised that his blood has about 5% leukemia in it.  We found out about 3 weeks ago and it's taking quite a bit of getting used to.  Because of the extensive treatment that he's been through over the last couple of years, they are not able to give him any more donor cells (from my uncle) as he has had his limit.  Any more and he stands a high risk of getting host/graft disease, which is basically a rejection of the health transplant cells.  Added to that, his body's also had it's limit of Chemotherapy and radiation.  When they did his transplant back in '98 they pretty much cooked him, so it's little wonder that he can't have any more.  Anyway, on the plus side of all of this, there is excellent medication available (my dad's doctor has referred to it as miracle medicine, previously) that he is going to be starting up with shortly, which slows (and possibly even halts) the cancer's growth.  It comes with a price tag of about R1,000.00 per day (approximately $130 - 140) though!!  His medical aid (insurance) has confirmed that they will be paying for this medication in full until July, when he'll need to go for further blood tests to see how effective the treatment has been.  I'm not sure what happens after July, but whether the medical aid pays for it or not, if the medicine's working, we will find the money to keep him on it.  We are just concerned about getting him going on the medication now, 'cos they're going on a 3 week sea cruise in 3 weeks time and the side effects of the medicine are many.  On the plus side, my dad is otherwise very healthy and it's still very early stages.  The type of leukemia my dad suffers from (chronic myeloid leukemia) is very slow growing, so he has a lot counting in his favour at this stage.  Please just keep him in your thoughts and prayers.

On a happy note, I had a lovely Valentine's Day and was a very spoilt girl!  Jake made Danie & I a gorgeous card at school, his Grandpa Hubie sent me red roses, his granny gave me a heart biscuit and chocolate, Rosanne made Jake & I delicious heart shaped biscuits, my parents sent chocolates for Jake, Danie & I.  Danie spoilt me with a huge bouquet of red roses too (I promise to take some pictures) and a massive box of Lindt balls, which I plan to finish this afternoon.  We had a lovely dinner with his cousin, Gareth and his girlfriend, Sharon, in the Waterfront.  The weather was incredible;  it was really a perfect evening.  We sat outside, looking out over the waterfront and our gorgeous mountain.  I ate way too much, but everything was so delicious and the weather was so perfect, I just didn't want the evening to end.  This has been the first Valentine's Day that I wasn't single for in 6 years and Danie made me feel very special.  He's gorgeous and we have lots of fun together and I'm very happy.  I'm in a love bubble. 

Aside from Valentine's day, Jake starts chess today after school (nerd) and has swimming later.  Tuesdays are our busy day and even though I didn't drink last night (I had a headache before we went out, that just won't go away), I'm suffering today.  We might be going through to Danie later, but he is waiting to hear from some friends who were either popping in to visit him tonight or on Thursday evening.  It's a guy's reunion type thing and guys suck at making plans.  It's a fact of life.

Anyway, I hope every one's well.  Photos tomorrow, I must just remember...

Sue x

Happy Valentine's Day...

Just a very short and sweet e-mail to wish all my fellow bloggers and blog readers a very happy Valentine's Day!!  I hope that you spend your day with those you love most and that you are showered with love in return.  Remember that it's not all about the gifts, like I've said before, it's the little things that make the most impact.

Personally, tonight we're going out for supper to The Greek Fisherman at Waterfront with Danie's cousin and his girlfriend.  I really like them very much, they're young and very easy to get on with.  Jake will be spending the night with his Granny Karen, as his Grandpa is away from home and she's offered to "babysit" for us.  I can't wait to see Danie later. 

Jake spent the night in my bed last night, an old treat, and it was lovely waking up next to him this morning.  He's gone off to school with a bag full of treats for his teacher this morning and was super excited.  Oh, also, Jake was awarded a badge on Friday that says "I am very well behaved".  He's allowed to wear it for the week.  What a special Valentine's surprise for me!

So wherever you are, whatever you do, have a happy love-filled day!

Lots of love,
Sue XXX

Act like a lady...

I've recently read the book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment by Steve Harvey.  It was worth a giggle and pretty true on a lot of things. It was interesting to read about how we, as women, are perceived by men and I do think that a book written to counter this would be a best seller. Act like a man, think like a lady??

I'm not going to get into the whole book, suffice to say that if you haven't read it and are in a relationship, go read it.  Read it with your partner and have a giggle.  This morning, Jake proved to me in the smallest way possible that the book is true in at least one respect - men like to keep their ladies happy.  If they really love you, they'll go to the ends of the earth to do what makes you feel special.  Men are problem solvers - when we tell them something, they will do their best to find a solution to our problem.  Let me share...

With me jogging in the mornings (I'm up to about 50% walking, 50% running for about 45 minutes - not bad for a non-athletics type girl that I am), things are pretty rushed in the mornings in our home.  The alarm goes off at 6:00, I fly out of bed, make the bed, get dressed and get Jake up and dressed.  I drop Jake off with my folks for breakfast at about 6:20 and my running partner & I are on the road by 6:30.  45 minutes later, we're back at her house and stretching.  I pick Jake up at about 7:20, rush home to get him dressed and myself showered, hair washed and dressed.  I usually manage to drop Jake at school by about 7:45, 10 minutes before the bell rings.  This morning, I was in the shower rushing like mad to get ready and Jake was getting dressed in the bathroom, chatting to me in the shower.  We're pretty open like that in our house and I've never felt the need to hide my imperfect body from my own child.  At least when he starts looking for a wife of his own one day, he will know to expect fat rolls and cellulite.  This morning, I was warm after my run and hopped into a lukewarm shower, that I cooled down further as I got used to the water.  I commented that I was so hot I needed the cold shower to cool my body down, which Jake thought was very funny.  I also said that we were in such a rush to get ready for school today that I hadn't even stopped to have a glass of water yet and was thirsty.  By the time I got out the shower, my woman pleaser was standing in the bathroom, with a tall glass of ice cold water in hand and a wide smile across his face.

To the guys out there, take note.  It's not the fancy dinners and expensive gifts that do it for us girls.  Sure, they're nice (OK, very, very nice), but it's the little things that truly melt us; the things we don't ask for that mean so much.  The gentle touch when we don't expect it, the cuddle during a movie on TV, the phone call to make sure we got home safely, the late night conversations when neither of you can sleep, the hug we need in a moment of sadness, a bunch of hand-picked flowers, unpacking the dishwasher (in my case packing it, since I don't know how to do it properly) and fetching us a glass of cold water when we're thirsty. 

And to the girls, sometimes, it just drives us nuts when we don't want a solution, rather a kind listening ear, but our men are wired differently and, truthfully, most of the time we love it.  We love them, so just enjoy letting them be men.  Enjoy the spoiling in whatever form it comes.  I am a very spoilt girl to have two very special guys looking out for and spoiling me on a daily basis. I love being able to see Jake expressing some of this sensitivity already.  Hopefully it's something that he will carry on into his adult life and will grow to be a warm, responsive husband one day.  I just hope he finds a girl who appreciates it as much as I do (or else!!).

Sue X

My brave little boy...

I'm such a proud mommy, I just have to share...  Yesterday Jake did his oral in front of his teacher and 28 classmates.  He's hated practising it over and over again and it's been tough motivating him to do it, but it's all paid off.  By the time Jake had to stand up in front of his class mates, he knew his lines and did his oral well. 

Walking to the car after picking him up from his classroom yesterday afternoon, Jake proudly told me that he'd done his oral and that we didn't need to practise it any more.  I didn't quite believe him, so we went back so I could ask her if he really did do it (knowing how much he'd hated practising, I wasn't sure).  She said that he spoke beautifully and she was very chuffed that he'd volunteered to speak first.  He said that he was the only one that offered, so I think he was quite proud of himself too!!

When he practised his oral in front of our family at Danie's house on Sunday, I'd told him that if his teacher asked who wanted to go first, that he should just get it over and done with.  I also told him that his teacher would think he was really brave if he offered to go first and that, once he'd done his oral, he could sit and relax while all the other kids worried about doing theirs.  And, for a change, he actually listened! 

When I had Jake, Jacques and I both agreed that the biggest gift any parent can possibly give their children, is the gift of confidence.  I've worked very hard at that and I think that this little story speaks for itself.  I think I could quite literally crush anyone breaks down what work I've so hard to develop in my child.  YAYAYAYAY - well done Jake, I'm super proud of you.  Keep up the good work!  I love you lots!!

Love Mommy XXX