Life's bumps...

My son, Jake, is kind and caring and funny and just about the sweetest thing I know.  He loves laughing and he loves being a wally and being laughed at.  He has the general knowledge about the weirdest things and a memory like an elephant - at least with things he wants to remember, like wildlife and plants and birds.  He loves animals and nature and he loves his veggie patch.  He has a mind like a sewer and loves a naughty joke - the ruder, the better.  His funniest is the curry eating competition, which you can read here. He laughs till he can hardly breathe.  I must print it to take home for him again later.  My son, Jake, loves having his back tickled and reading books - at the moment, The Magic Faraway Tree by Enid Blyton.  He loves watching me picking up the dog poo and giving me a running commentary on what each dropping looks like, just to see me gag.  He loves watching movies and junk food, not veggies.  He loves the games on my phone.  He loves our tradition of being allowed to sleep in my bed on Sunday nights, eating yogurt and chocolates and cuddling and reading books.

My son, Jake, has a problem.  He suffers from Attention Deficit Disorder.  It's a very frustrating disorder to live with - for both of us.  Without his medication (he's on Ritalin 20mg Long Acting for his school day, which should last about 8 hours), Jake finds it virtually impossible to focus his attention on one thing at a time.  His time management skills are non-existent, my boy can FAFF.  He struggles to get work done as quickly and efficiently as other kids his age do.  He gets frustrated with himself for not coping.  He does not listen - or should I say, hear?  He gets upset about having to struggle and for getting into trouble, when he knows he should be able to do the work. He hates being untidy and he hates the fact that he is one of the few kids in his class, who hasn't qualified for his clutch pencil license yet.

After moaning and whining last week about the tough time Jake's been giving me, I had a note from his teacher yesterday.  It seems as though he's not managing well at school at the moment either...

Lately, Jake's been very unhappy about doing homework and studying.  He's disinterested and distracted and moans at me about having to get on with it.  In my mind, you sit down and do it as quickly as possible, so that you've got the rest of the day to yourself.  His doctor has given me additional meds (just 10mg of Ritalin, which lasts 4 hours) to give him in the afternoon, which I do begrudgingly give him, but only when it's exam time.  I only give him a half a dose, which should last him 2 hours.  Even with his meds, on Monday, it took Jake almost an hour to do a maths worksheet, which should've taken him about 20 mins, max 30.  He usually loves maths, so it was unusual for me to hear him complaining.  We're also working a lot on his exam time table - he should be doing quite a lot of his summarizing and studying on his own already, but I find myself practically teaching it to him and it takes him hours to remember anything, even with his top up meds.  Most days we're busy with homework until at least 6pm at the moment.  I hate it, but it is a fact of life and he has to do it... I certainly don't want to do it - I'm finished school - but I can't let him struggle either.  But the moaning...oh my...

In the classroom, Jake's distracted, talkative and causing disturbances amongst his friends.  His teacher (she's really the most wonderful teacher he could've wished for this year!) said he's also become very untidy and is struggling to keep up in class.  His concentration's become a problem for him again this term and he's making careless mistakes and takes longer to finish his work.  His teacher said that she's continuously reminding Jake to keep working and to stop talking and she can see he's getting frustrated too.  On the plus side, which makes me very, very proud, she did say that "Jake is a delightful, well-mannered young man".

Jake's really a very sensitive soul and I know that he takes his teacher's  gentle encouragement and reminders to get done, in the wrong way.  I know too that he knows he's not coping and I know that this hurts him very much. 

SO... I had a little chat with him yesterday afternoon in the car on the way home from school and he admitted that he feels like his meds aren't working as well as before. He doesn't like being in trouble and he wants to be able to do his best in his exams.  Why would anyone want their child to suffer like this, when there's a solution that can help?  Surely not giving my son the medication he needs will be detrimental to his confidence and his outlook on life?  He knows he has a problem, he knows he needs to work on it, but he doesn't know how. 

As his mother, I'm going to do the best I can to help him.  I've made a doctor's appointment for tomorrow afternoon and hopefully we can help spare Jake some heartache and get things back on track for him.  All any of us ever really want for our kids is to see them happy.  Hopefully I'm helping Jake find his happiness again.

Sending love,

Sue XXX