A vent...

I love kids movies. I love the fiction and fantasy and all that is expressed within them. So, on Friday morning I couldn't wait to get to the post office to collect "my" new movie, Arthur and the Invisibles (http://www.amazon.co.uk/Arthur-Invisibles-Robert-Niro/dp/B000MTE938/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=gateway&qid=1200900740&sr=8-1), that I'd ordered on Amazon weeks ago. Friday night, we bought popcorn and readied ourselves to enjoy our new movie. We were literally about to hit play (around 6ish), when the power went out. The lights only came on again around 8pm, Jake was still up though, so we watched the movie anyway. It was brilliant and Jake has watched it about 3 times since. Honestly, though, I wish Eskom would get their act together. While I realise that, business-wise, it is more convenient to have power cuts during the evenings, when most people aren't working, 6pm's dinner time for most and it's really inconvenient! It's a nightmare and just makes one realise that South Africa is still very much a third world country, even though it feels very first world at times.

On Saturday morning, Jake & I went to the 2 Oceans Aquarium (http://www.aquarium.co.za/) with our wonderful friends, Wesley and Lizelle, and their little girl, Lara-Lyn. They're here on holiday for 10 days from the Northern Cape, so it's great to catch up with them again. Wes was one of the best men at our wedding and he's so great with Jake.

Jake and the Pelican

Lara-Lyn and the Penguin

Jake inside the 'Nemo' tank

Eating sweeties (yes, he inherited my sweet tooth)

Jake & Lara-Lyn

I had a wedding on Saturday night (Jacques' cousin) and it was actually a flippin' difficult one. For so many reasons. First and most, I couldn't handle looking up and not seeing Jacques there. Second, weddings no longer hold that same excitement for me. They're unbelievably stressful and even while I have learnt not to worry about them before hand, they're still tough as hell to actually sit though. The exchanging of vows and the excited feeling the bride and groom share, just reminds me of all that I've had and lost. And how when we got married, we simply took it for granted that we'd grow old together. I have an overwhelming urge to shake the happy couple and remind them never to stress about the small things in life, not to fight over the petty things, to enjoy every second that they share with one another, to make happy memories together, and remind them that you just never know (thank god) what lies around the corner. Jacques and I had a wonderful life together (we were spoilt) and we were so happy in our marriage. I hope that all married people get to share that, even if just for a short time. Anyway, back to the wedding. It all started, with the minister acknowleding all family members who are no longer here. Needless to say, I couldn't concentrate for trying not to make a blubbering idiot out of myself. The speeches were OK (by then I'd had a glass of champagne and half a glass of wine). The first dance brought tears and I hid in the bathroom with my sister-in-law for 10 minutes while I composed myself. The outcome is that I am going to the doctor again today to go back onto the anti-depressants that I was on for a year after Jacques died. I do not intend to use these for a long time, but my sister's getting married on 23 Feb and if Saturday night was anything to go by, I'm going to end up spoiling her happy day with my tears. Besides that, I think that my biggest sign at the moment that I am depressed is that I just want to sleep all the time (I'd think I was pregnant if I didn't know better). I wake up exhausted and at night, I want to crawl into bed at 7pm. In all seriousness, am hating work at the moment and I just need to pull myself straight.

Anyway, on a happier note (promise not to always write miserable blogs, that's 2 in a row...), just when I was feeling down, I picked this up off another blog and thought I'd give it a try - http://www.flarn.com/~warlock/tarot/. This was my result:

You are The Wheel of Fortune

Good fortune and happiness but sometimes a species of intoxication with success The Wheel of Fortune is all about big things, luck, change, fortune. Almost always good fortune. You are lucky in all things that you do and happy with the things that come to you. Be careful that success does not go to your head however. Sometimes luck can change.

So, hopefully I'll start to feel more positive about things in the next few days. Thanks to medical technology!!

Yesterday, we spent the day with the out-laws (Jacques' dad replaced my brakes and serviced my car for me!!) and had a braai (BBQ) in the evening with my folks. Lazed in front of the TV, till I couldn't keep my peepers open for another second.

I'll end off with some happy photos of Jake...

Hope you all had a fabulous weekend!

Lots of love xxx