Wednesday, January 23, 2008
A new day...
Well, I'm happy to report, I went to the doctor on Monday and I'm back on anti-depressants! Funny how I knew I needed them, but it was actually quite emotional putting the first lot down my throat. I guess it just makes me feel a bit like I'm sliding back a bit down the ladder I've been climbing up. At the same time, though, what's the rush? I have my whole life ahead of me (I hope) to get my head sorted out. I can't believe how exhausted I'm still feeling though. Yesterday I was literally unable to focus properly on my computer screen at work (even with the assistance of a Red Bull). Today, I am feeling a bit more awake then I did yesterday, but would still give anything to be able to go home and curl up again under my duvet (or on top of it in this weather). So, fingers crossed that within the next couple of days, I'll be used to the drugs and won't feel so "zonked" all the time!
As for Jake, he had another vomit-free swimming lesson yesterday, which makes it now 3 in a row. Whoo-hoo! Watching him in the water, I can definitely see that he's starting to re-gain some of his confidence in the water. He was even brave enough to dive in off the side of the pool (it's too cute for words!), which made my heart leap with joy! His teacher is letting him go to swim short distances on his own and he's putting his whole face in the water now too without complaining. His absolute favourite activity is diving for fish off the bottom step. I think we're finally getting there. In some ways, I'm glad that he's aware of the dangers of water - it makes him very cautious, but at the same time, it's great to see him enjoying himeself again!
Lastly, I just wanted to say thanks to all my blog readers for your kind thoughts.
Love,
Sue xxx
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5 comments:
Hi Susan
Hope the anti depressants start working soon and you start to feel better soon.Ewan is on them too after his brother died last year. We have Colin's birthday in Feb and it'll be a year soon that he died. I'm sure you'll find the strength to get through this again as I hope Ewan will too.
Thinking of you
Nicola
Hi Sue-
I hope you find just the right dosage to help you get a leg up on things. Everyone's chemistry is so different. Some friends have needed to work with their doctors to switch medications and amounts, until they find the best balance for them.
Jake is making progress with his swimming in great leaps and bounds --- and dives! Such joy!
;o)
- Lee
It is a brave thing to admit that you are not coping and you need a bit of help. As you know, I was on anti-depressants for 3 years and have only come off them since I fell pregnant. It does not mean you are backsliding. it means you are moving forward. You don't want to feel the way you do and you are doing something about it. I wish you all the strength imaginable and just always remember you have your own special angel looking after you
xx
Well done Jake on the swimming, it sounds like he is making loads of progress with it at the moment.
Also, hope these anti-depressents do the trick for you. I also think you are really brave admitting that you are depressed, you are not backsliding, you are getting there and hopefully soon you will feel better again and get your energy back.
Thinking of you x
Mari
Hey S,
I'm so very proud of you for admitting that you might need a bit of help. I think it is much braver to admit that you are feeling a bit overwhelmed than hiding it under a mask. That usually only leads to more heartache.
I'm also on anti-depressants and can tell you it does serve its purpose - even if you don't always feel like it.
Lotsa love.
anch
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