12 years, 12 lessons...

I have been a mom for 12 years today!!  Happy, happy, HAPPY 12th birthday Jake!!  You are growing into such a handsome, kind and caring boy and I am SO very proud to be your mom.  It's so much fun watching you grow up and learn new things every day!  It's incredible to see you becoming an independent young man and to watch your passion for nature and animals growing.  I am SO excited for our upcoming trip to Kruger and I can't wait for our long stay in the park!  I love sharing this special place with you and creating new memories and adventures together.  I LOVE YOU XXX

Since Jake was born, life has thrown me more than my fair share of curve balls.  Some have been more painful than others, but here's what I've taken from the last 12 years...

1.  Life changes. When Jake was born, life was so, incredibly exciting. I was young and innocent and life hadn't hurt me yet.  The thing is, though, we can't stop change, it is inevitable and we just have to learn to roll with it.

2.  Grief hurts forever. Yes, you do learn to live with the hurt you feel and someone once told me that the immediate ache of grief is like having a hole in your heart, that eventually gets a scab and forms a scar, but it never heals 100%.  It's true.  My heart still hurts so often and I miss Jacques all the time.  In 12 years, I've never once gone a day without thinking about him at least once.  No matter where I've been or with whom, he is always on my mind.

3.  Being a mother is all-consuming.  I live, eat, sleep and breathe Jake.  I would go to the ends of the earth to make sure that he's happy.  He's mine and I'm so PROUD of him.  Jake's needs come ahead of my own from here on out.  No more messing around, it's mom full time!

4.  I am fiercely protective.  Enough said - don't you dare do anything to upset my child!

5.  I have choices in life.  Be happy, or be sad.  Life is too short to be miserable and believe me, I've had plenty of reason to be miserable, but why?  Get off your bum and go outside and enjoy life with those who love you!

6.  Friends come and go, but the real ones are there when you really need them!  Even when you don't get to see them as often as you would like to, when you do catch up again, you pick up from where you left off.  Best friends are few and far between.  People who I thought would stand by Jake and I haven't and some have stepped up where I never expected them too.  

7.  I have an incredible family.  My mom, my dad and my sisters are my absolute rocks in life.  The 5 of us have been through so much together and I believe that we've come through whatever life's thrown at us with flying colours.  Jake, along with my nieces and nephews and my 2 amazing brothers-in-law form now form part of that inner circle for me.  I am also blessed with really wonderful in-laws - Jacques family are really fantastic too.

8.  Don't rely on others for my own happiness.  I have always been very quick to trust other people.  Trust is free, but should be earned.  I have learned a lot about this through my past relationships and this is something that I need to be a lot more cautious with in the future.  Trust needs to be earned, especially as far as men are concerned...

9.  Nothing in life is certain.  When you think you have a good thing, it's not necessarily that others feel the same way.  In the last 12 years, I have been let down numerous times, by people I didn't expect to let me down and I have learned from it that I need to be more careful in the future.

10.  Life is short.  It sounds so cliche to say it, but it's true.  Time goes far too quickly when you're having fun.  Jake is growing up too fast and I sometimes wish that I could press pause for a little bit.  Jake has also realised that he's growing up quickly and has decided that he doesn't want to be grown up just yet.  He is terrified of hitting puberty and just wants to stay as he is for a bit longer.

11.  Say what I want.  I have always been very indecisive.  I hate chosing a movie or what to have for dinner.  I am terrible at confrontation and will either not say what's on my heart, or otherwise it comes out all wrong.  Through Jake's ADD problems, I've had to learn to put my big girl pants on and make decisions for him on my own - that's been a really big lesson for me.  I can make decisions and I do make them well.  I just have to trust my gut and listen to the inner me more closely...

12. I am a single parent.  Single parenthood is incredibly difficult.  Unlike divorced parents, when you're widowed, you're 100% responsible for your child's welfare, both financially and emotionally.  It's a huge job when there are 2 of you and it's really tough when there's only 1 of you.  That said, I'm glad that I don't have an ex, fighting with me over money and visiting schedules.  I'd prefer to do it alone than to have to expose my child to all the unhappiness that goes along with a broken home.  That said, it is really awful making decisions for someone else (see 11 above).  I've learned that I don't have to make up the fact that Jake doesn't have a dad, I just have to smother him with love!

Love,

Sue XXX

Corky is 7...

At the end of March (yes, a whole month ago), Corky turned 7!!  Now, I can even hear you saying, where did the time go???  7... that's such a big number!!  he had an awesome big boy party, Jo never lets them down.  He wanted a pizza and movie party, with a banana, bubble gum and vanilla ice-cream cake and a slush puppy machine...  it was AWESOME!

An excited birthday boy, waiting patiently for his candles to be lit - hahaha... look at Bi squeezing through...

I'm sort of hoping that Jo's bending down a bit in this pic, Jake cannot be that tall yet... 

A little kiss from his mommy as his friends sing to him...

Pauly-wauly getting in for the pics too...

Stinky!!  That's very rude; pointing tongues out at your auntie...

Nini sent a card for Bi, sealed with a kiss... that's Bi getting her kiss from Nini...

Corky was a blur... he had a super fun evening...

The whole crew...

The party boxes...

Jake was very excited to go home with Corky after his party and to watch him opening his presents...

And boy oh boy was this little man spoiled...

And I think that Jake was maybe just a little jealous that he wasn't still turning 7...

Beautiful Bi about to pass out from exhaustion...

All in all, it was a fantastic party.  Corky had a ball with his friends and Jo very cleverly plans parties at their lifestyle center, so that there's no mess at home and clean up is quick!

Corky, you're the craziest, kindest, gentlest, big-hearted 7 year old I know.  I love your sense of humour and how smart you are, especially at maths!  I love how much you love Jake and what good friends you boys are growing up to become.  I love how protective you are over Bi as her big brother - that's so important and I hope that you mange to always look after our little princess.  You have wonderful friends and I can see that they all love you too.  You are a very special, very loved little boy!!

Lots of love,

Auntie Sue xxx

Rather late than never...

Gosh, how is it possible that I just haven't had time to see to my blog??  Where do the days go?  Is it possible that I still haven't shared my Easter photos yet?  Thank goodness I can still say that there are Easter eggs still lying around, so I'm not that behind yet...

This Lindt egg was all Jake wanted for Easter this year.  It was a tad on the dear side, so he knew that if that was what he asked the bunny for, that was it.  But you know that bunny... she just doesn't know when to stop and so Jake was spoiled as usual on Easter morning...

He was very happy with his chicken that poops out speckled eggs while chirping a song...

Our family usually gets together for Easter morning and Jake had fun helping get the eggs hidden in the garden for his younger cousins...

The weather wasn't fantastic, but the rain held off until the hunt was over...

Our garden gnome...

Jake decided this year that he needed to help Rylee hunt for eggs.  It was very sweet (and a little bit sad) to see him stand back, so his cousins could enjoy it...

Corky was a blur...

It didn't take Rylee long to get into the swing of things...

Oh there's sweet Bi... blurry Easter morning photos are a must!  Bi decided that she wanted to come in her PJs...

Oh that swing... that was mine (and Jo's) when I was a kid.  It's ooooooollllllddd...

Rylee will be as fast as the rest by next Easter...

This photo melts my heart in a million ways...

I love this pic of Corky loving Jake...

All of them on top of Jake...

So, are there still Easter eggs floating around your house, or have you eaten them all already?  I only got one, so Jake's been very kind about sharing with me, even when he's not looking.

Sending love,

Sue xxx

Kirstenbosch Gardens...

Jake and I picked a gloomy day during the holidays to head through to Kirstenbosch Gardens.  I have an almost unbelievable amount of leave owing to me, so I managed to squeeze in a bonus long weekend.  It was threatening to rain and the skies were grey, but Jake and I always manage to have fun, nothing gets us down!

My little bergie (bum) napping on a bench...

Checking out the very interesting ferns, that date back to dinosaur times...

I love how much this boy of mind loves nature.  Seriously, he's happy to just walk around and fele the plants, smell them and find out what they are.  He loves looking for spiders and mice and birds.  It's amazing that a boy of his age finds interest in such things...

Going to check out a bird on the lawns...

One of the pretty side paths...

The main point of our visit was to see the boomslang treetop pathway.  The views were magnificent...

Right over the entire botanical garden...

Another attraction that we've not yet had time to see, is the dinosaur and cycad exhibit... very cool...

I remember the days when Jake loved dinosaurs more than anything else.  He used to bring home book after book after book for me to try read to him.  He's still fascinated, but not like he used to be.  He has all the facts tucked in his head - like the fact that these dinosaurs are Southern African ones...

Jake sitting beneath a huuuuuuuuuuuuge old tree...

This boy...

A sort of selfie of Jake and me.  Look how big his hands have gotten...

Hope your week's going well...

Sue XXX

More cousin news...

Despite it's lateness, it's quite appropriate today, to share this post.  A few weeks back, Jake and I were invited to go and watch his big cousins, Abi and Becky take part in a national swimming competition in Stellenbosch.  I'd be lying if I told you which one.  Jake was very excited to meet some of our local swimming champs (above is him and Olympic swimmer, Karin Prinsloo) and of course, our absolute highlight was seeing his cousins in action.  The girls don't like us to show off about their achievements, but watch this spot, they're going places fast!  

To put it simply, they're in Durban at the moment, swimming at the Olympic Qualifiers.  While Becky's only 13 and Abi's only 15, these girls are unbelievable in the water.  Becky made a new PB last night in her 400 IM (less than 5 mins) and she's currently seeded as the 3rd fastest woman in our country for this race.  Such humble girls, they're so quiet about their achievements, but you only have to see the wall of medals behind their dad's bar to know how well they achieve.  

Here's Becky competing in breaststroke...

And Abi doing backstroke...

Other celeb SA swimmers included Cameron van der Burgh - he's only 27, but I think I blushed when I took his pic.  I just so badly wanted him to be posing in his speedo - such a nice body!!

Jake's very proud of his beautiful cousins (Abi's wearing the green headband) and he just wanted to hang out with them, so that everyone could see that he belonged with them...

Because the girls spend big chunks of time on the pool deck with our celeb swimmers, they get to know them pretty well.  Jake's eyes were closed in his first pic with Chad le Clos, so she went over to make sure that Jake got a better one with her buddy Chad...

It's really awesome how everyone encourages one another and they all took a moment to make Jake feel very special...

Jake was left with absolute stars in his eyes, but mostly because he can say that Abi and Becky are his cousins!  You can read more about Becky on her sponsor's page here.

Sending Abi and Becky so many positive vibes, prayers and blessings this week as they compete in this top level competition.  You girls have age on your side still and we're behind you every step of the way.  Remember your 20/20 vision!!

Sending heaps of love,

Auntie Sue & Jake XXX

Our little Rylee-Roo has turned 2...

Where has the time gone?  And could I possibly be any worse at blogging than I have been in the last little while???  I really just don't get the time at the moment.  And, believe it or not, I think I have about 6 posts waiting to be finished so that I can publish them...  Might be a busy blogging weekend ahead!

So our sweet little Rylee (aka Gogga) turned 2 at the end of Feb.  Jake and I had bought him a tool set for Christmas and so it was easy to add to that for his birthday.  Gogga loves helping his very practical dad do boy things.  A drill was the perfect addition to the set! 

We had a really nice get-together for Rylee's birthday and just about his whole family joined in for the most delicious home-made pizzas to celebrate.  Isn't it funny how excited other kids get about the gifts they give... look how proud Corky looks...

It was a funky car that twists and spins and Rylee was terrified of it when Jake first got it going for him...

Rosie and her beautiful boy...

Rylee had a transport party and they filled the garden with all kinds of toys for the littlies to climb on and crawl through.  Jake found an alternative use for the ring...

Rosie and Gareth always go to so much trouble to make their entertainment area look magical for Rylee's party...

Party boxes...

Wall art...

Rosie's cake was a gorgeous train that Rosie made, full of sweeties for the kids to tuck into...

So special and just gorgeous...

Rylee's oldest cousin, John and his family were here from Jo'burg, so were able to join for Rylee's party this year.  Jake and John get on pretty well, which is great - their dads were both really good friends as kids...

That's John's sister in blue, Abi.  Seriously though, boys will be boys...

Rylee with all his cousins...

Silly faces for a memorable birthday photo...

Rylee worked very hard with his new drill to keep everything together...

Princess Bi really enjoyed herself too...  man, I wish I had legs like her...

It was very sweet to see Rylee with his friends too, we've seen them all grow up from teeny tiny babies.  Some of their mom's were good friends with Rosie at school.  How the wheel turns...

Rylee lighting his candle with his drill...

Waiting to blow the flame out...

He is such a loved and very treasured little boy.  His older cousins all adore him...

And Rylee got so into his happy birthday song, this is him absolutely straining and shouting HOORAY!!

Candle time...

Corky wanted to play outside too.  Not to big yet to enjoy playing with the little kids things...

Stuffing your faces time.  And boy did Rylee eat...

And eat...

And eat...it's no wonder this boy didn't get a tummy ache, but he did enjoy his party so much this year...

Chilling and taking it all in...

Gogga, you're just too gorgeous for words!  We love seeing you grow up into the funny, gentle little boy that you are fast becoming.  Except when you're holding a spade!  We love getting to know you more and more with each day as you learn to speak and communicate with us.  We love you so much!!

Love,

Sue XXX