Funky Hair Day...

 Today is Funky Hair Day at school and Jake decided to keep his hair conventional, but to spray it green... so green it was!  He was up super early this morning, to get Nini to do his hair for him - it turned out fabulously and, as you can see, he was thrilled with it!

 He wanted more green though, so this was the final result...

 

We usually park at the local shopping center and walk the last block or two to school, but Jake wouldn't walk today.  He was sank as low into his chair as he could in the car and made me drop him right off at the door.  A lot of other kids had wigs and a few others had their hair sprayed too... Jake's hair definitely looked funky and I think he was thrilled to be able to go and show his support!

It's been a very hectic week, with fires blazing all across our beautiful mountains.  Jo and Paul were evacuated from their home and Buitenverwachting lost some of their vineyards as the blaze swept through the forest bordering their fences.  Firefighters are still working hard to make sure that there are no flare ups and we are all thankful for their hard work and commitment.

OK, hope you all have a happy weekend!

Love Sue XXX

Moving forward...

I have so much that I want to write about, but I'm just not getting to my blog at all at the moment.  It's in the pipeline to get myself set up with some sort of Internet connection at home soon, so hopefully I'll be better about updating when I can do it when I have more time!

This week has been a biggie for us and I'm exhausted.  I feel completely drained today, like just lifting my arms is hard - I'm really, really glad that it's Friday!!

I've made the huge step this week to take Jake to see a clinical psychologist, to try help sort out a few issues that I'm having with him.  I personally am not a huge fan of psychologists - we all have issues and have to learn to live with them - but I hate seeing Jake unhappy and I'll do whatever I can to help him!  Mostly, I've been concerned about the meds he's on and so I'm just looking for a second, professional opinion.  Jake seems incredibly wound up in the evenings, very subdued and serious during the day.  He's so quiet, I sometimes forget he's there.  I hate it!  And at night, he's awake until 11 most nights (1am on Saturday!) - for a kid who loves his sleep (and a mommy who does too), this isn't working at all.  It means that it's difficult to get him going in the mornings too; he just wants to sleep.  In the evenings after lights out at 8:30, Jake is continuously looking for my attention.  He talks and wants to know what I'm doing/watching/eating/going to bed - until he knows I'm asleep.  He can get quite rude with me at times.  I feel like I'm not in control and that he's a bit out of control.  It's out of character and I feel like he's just not my Jake at the moment.  It's making me very sad.

In the same breath, I think that this is honestly mostly my fault!  Jake's used to having my undivided attention.  He's a spoiled brat (with my time!).  It's been tough for him to learn that I have other people in my life who are important too and that in the evenings, after he's had me all to himself all day, it's my time.  And don't let me get started on his behaviour when Marius is there!  Moving forward, I've been told that I need to completely ignore him in the evenings - do you have any idea how hard that is?  Not to even tell him to shhhh when he starts to irritate me???!  It's in these moments that it's toughest to be a single mom.  It would be so much easier if there was someone there to help me ignore him!  To egg me on and to take over while I take a break.  Thank goodness for wine and chocolate, right!?

Jake's very aware that what he's doing is unacceptable and during the day he will apologise and tell me that he doesn't know how to control himself.  He's a bright boy, so he knows!  And he hates making me sad and he hates getting into trouble.  So, fingers crossed that this is just a stage and that with the psychologist's help, we've reached a turning point.  He's really embarrassed about it.  We have a decent reward system going, which should hopefully inspire a bit of good behavior.  Jake's a tweenie now, so the hormones are lining up at gates and I know that I need to regain some control before Jake hits his teens - before he's bigger than me, which isn't far off!

Jake is an amazing boy, but I feel like there's a little spark that's disappeared from him and between us at the moment.  This week has been better than previous, so like I said, moving onwards and upwards.

Hope you have a lovely weekend!

Love Sue XXX

Out of sync...

I love this boy.  He drives me crazy like you won't believe, but I do love him with all my heart!

It's been a busy week and we're fully back in routine now with all sporting and extramural activities.  I went to a parent/teacher meeting with Jake's new teacher, Mrs van der Westhuizen, who's been teaching at his school since I was there!!  She's old school - firm, but encouraging and I love it.  She's given the parents great tips for in and around the house, for helping her achieve her goals with our kids.  We've used the week to implement a few and so far so good.  Jake now does his homework on his own at his desk in his room and I check it for him when he's done.  He was doing it at the dining room table, with me sitting, helping.  Truth be told - I don't quite know what to do with myself while he's working quietly on his own any more.  It's so good for him to be able to go and put his music on and do it in his own time.

This week has been a hard one for me and it has felt at times as though Jake and I are very out of sync with each other.  I don't like it - I like our home to be calm and happy as it can be.  Life is rushed, so it's not always so.  Our lack of sync this week has kept me awake at night and so I'm exhausted.How do you discipline your kids.  What punishments/rewards do you use?  Do they get the odd whack if they need it?  Do you reward them, or bribe them?  I've tried just about everything I can think of.  Taking away games and TV time seems to hurt the most.

That said, I don't like punishment and I don't like shouting. I prefer to talk to Jake and get him to hear where I'm coming from.  It doesn't always work out that way though...

 I don't like being ignored or spoken to rudely.  I have never hit Jake (besides the lummy he got on his arm last night for not listening and for being disrespectful!) and I do usually prefer working with a reward system, rather than punishing, but sometimes, when rewards don't work, punishing is the only way.  It's a work in progress (for all parents, I think) and its a lot of hard work, especially as a single mom.  It's frustrating and you hope that you're making the right decisions, but you never really know.  Marius gives me heaps of support, but the final decisions are mine.  And let's face it... we all do things differently.  I know I give too many warnings, I speak too many times before I get upset, but when I get upset, Jake knows he's in the dog box!  And when I start threatening boarding school, because what we're doing at home isn't working and we're both unhappy, then he really knows he's crossed that invisible line with me.

Most of the time, Jake is a wonderful boy to live with.  He's funny and kind and caring and loving and so smart beyond words, but it's those odd moments when he turns into a pitbull that make me upset.  Don't get me wrong, I love mischievous, just not rude.

Marius shared this link with us last night - it had me in tears...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOksW_NabEk

Hope you all have a good, restful weekend!

Love,

Sue XXX

A mini-break...

 Marius' sister invited us to come up to spend a long weekend with them at their little holiday spot on the Clanwilliam Dam.  It was a little bit of a juggling act with my leave - I had to go back in a day early, so I could take the Friday off, but it was lovely and SO relaxing!

The drive to Clanwilliam takes you up along the West Coast.  It's not too far, probably just shy of 3 hours.  We made a pit stop in Piketberg for lunch at the local Spur.

The dry plains of Africa (actually wheat farms)...

 Janine and Andre have a boat, so we were up early in the mornings, food and drinks packed and off we'd go to find a quieter spot to enjoy the day.  This was the beach where we spent most of our time...

For those of you who don't know the area well, Clanwilliam is HOT!  It easily goes up to 40 C deg during the day...

 All sunscreened up - we all spent all day in the water...

 Janine enjoying something cool in the water...

 And her husband, Andre too.  Believe me, in that heat, you can't go long without having something to drink...

 The boys literally stayed in the water the entire day, except to get food and juice.  The life jackets were brilliant for bobbing around in...

 So calm and relaxing... you can feel it, right...

 A little ridge on the boat...

 Tubing behind the boat...

 Michael the poser...

 And a proper smile.  I think Michael looks a lot like his mom, but I see so much of Marius in this picture.  There's hope...

 Cam was a little nervous, so Marius rode with him...

 Jake and Michael watching from the boat - eager to have a turn...

 Michael is a total adrenaline junkie.  This is him jumping in the tube, to get it to bounce more on the water...

  He loves every second, especially going over the wake on the bends...

 Pure, absolute pleasure...

  Cam and Marius did get another go, before the afternoon wind picked up.  Hello biceps...

 Cam didn't really enjoy the waves, especially when Marius fell off the back - this pic shows how rough it gets...

 Jake chickened out all together.  I always feel sad for him when he misses out on something fun because he's scared, but I'll never force him to do anything that's beyond his comfort zone.  He was quite happy to watch and enjoyed being on the boat...

 The view from the boat...

 2 courses of antibiotics later and Jake's face was just about back to normal...

 Day 2 was pretty much the same as day 1.  We went back to the same beach and spent the day in the sun again.  Bliss...

A pretty dragon fly...

OK, so Jake did actually get to enjoy the tube too...  He had heaps of fun with the boys, shoving each other off...

Marius joined in to help with the tipping...

And it looked like so much fun, I "hopped" on too.  Can't be that boring mommy who doesn't join in the fun...

Lol... There's me...

Off you go Cam...

Michael getting revenge for Cam...

Which was apparently hysterically funny!  So good to have a laugh like that sometimes...

I thought it might be easier to go up legs first, but it wasn't... it was just more embarrassing and everyone could see how physically weak I really am...

Marius slept really well after his day of throwing kids up onto the tube and tipping them off again...

It was worth it though, just to see the smiles on the kids faces - they had a ball...

Back to reality from this was a toughie!  I'm still in holiday mode, which is maybe a good thing.  Packing lunch boxes doesn't seem that bad!

I wrote most of this post yesterday and have only just realised that it didn't actually upload for some reason, so here it is a day late!

I've woken up today in a really, really good mood.  Not sure whether it's because I'm attempting to run again (with Jake in tow this time), or whether it's because Jake's managing to get ready for school really quickly and easily at the moment, or whether it's knowing that I'm seeing Marius later, or the gorgeous weather, but I don't think there's much that can make me feel less happy today.  It's a great feeling :o)  Hoping that everyone else is as happy today as me

Love,

Sue XXX

Bits and pieces...

 So, in amongst other things... we spent time at the beach.  Did I say that before?  The kids spent a large part of holidays on their body boards, which means that I have (had) a semi decent tan by the end of the holidays too.

I am in love with this beach and this mountain.  I could never leave Cape Town...

 Clouds cooling us off (a lot that day)...

 We had a few visitors, not as many as I'd hoped for over the holidays - I had big plans to do plenty of entertaining, but turns out it's a busy time for most.  Rosie and Gareth came to visit, with Rylee and Jake was very excited to show off his tricks with his new board, which he bought with his own pocket money...

 Ag man - look how sweetly Rylee's snuggled into Rosie...

 I love this photo of the boys all watching the sunset.  It was beautiful - the clouds make it amazing...

 The last spot of sunlight dropping off the edge of the earth - honestly, it's breathtaking...

We spent a lot of time doing very little and the kids played far too many TV games, we watched far too many movies, but that's what holidays are for - slobbing and doing not very much.  Hahaha... how well do you know me???  We did plenty!  Cape Town has suddenly become a very health conscious city.  Everyone seems to be moving and doing something to get into shape.  We've got these awesome fitness parks that have popped up everywhere (even in Edgemead).  The kids think they're so much fun and they get a workout without even realising it.  This one's in Sea Point, right along the promenade the beach...

 Jake and Michael having fun together...

 Jake did quite a lot of work during the holidays on his badges for cubs too.  For his Outdoors man badge he had to build a backyard tent and sleep in it for 2 nights.  Marius' balcony is perfect, because he has lasers in his garden, so nice and safe...

 Jake was terrified and when Michael started telling ghost stories, he was the first one back inside.  He did manage 2 nights and it even rained once...

 And, needless to say - nobody got much sleep...

 I think it's safe to say that these 3 wallies had an AWESOME holiday together and we're already looking forward to the next one...

That brings me up to date with the holiday pics.  My camera's been in for repairs at Nikon and I heard yesterday that it's ready for collection, I just don't have time till Monday to fetch it.  Not having my camera with me feels a bit like having lost a limb (OK, not quite).  I'm looking forward to getting it back again!  Have had all my lenses serviced and cleaned properly too, so it will be like new again and I can't wait!!

Sending love,

Sue XXX