Out of sync...

I love this boy.  He drives me crazy like you won't believe, but I do love him with all my heart!

It's been a busy week and we're fully back in routine now with all sporting and extramural activities.  I went to a parent/teacher meeting with Jake's new teacher, Mrs van der Westhuizen, who's been teaching at his school since I was there!!  She's old school - firm, but encouraging and I love it.  She's given the parents great tips for in and around the house, for helping her achieve her goals with our kids.  We've used the week to implement a few and so far so good.  Jake now does his homework on his own at his desk in his room and I check it for him when he's done.  He was doing it at the dining room table, with me sitting, helping.  Truth be told - I don't quite know what to do with myself while he's working quietly on his own any more.  It's so good for him to be able to go and put his music on and do it in his own time.

This week has been a hard one for me and it has felt at times as though Jake and I are very out of sync with each other.  I don't like it - I like our home to be calm and happy as it can be.  Life is rushed, so it's not always so.  Our lack of sync this week has kept me awake at night and so I'm exhausted.How do you discipline your kids.  What punishments/rewards do you use?  Do they get the odd whack if they need it?  Do you reward them, or bribe them?  I've tried just about everything I can think of.  Taking away games and TV time seems to hurt the most.

That said, I don't like punishment and I don't like shouting. I prefer to talk to Jake and get him to hear where I'm coming from.  It doesn't always work out that way though...

 I don't like being ignored or spoken to rudely.  I have never hit Jake (besides the lummy he got on his arm last night for not listening and for being disrespectful!) and I do usually prefer working with a reward system, rather than punishing, but sometimes, when rewards don't work, punishing is the only way.  It's a work in progress (for all parents, I think) and its a lot of hard work, especially as a single mom.  It's frustrating and you hope that you're making the right decisions, but you never really know.  Marius gives me heaps of support, but the final decisions are mine.  And let's face it... we all do things differently.  I know I give too many warnings, I speak too many times before I get upset, but when I get upset, Jake knows he's in the dog box!  And when I start threatening boarding school, because what we're doing at home isn't working and we're both unhappy, then he really knows he's crossed that invisible line with me.

Most of the time, Jake is a wonderful boy to live with.  He's funny and kind and caring and loving and so smart beyond words, but it's those odd moments when he turns into a pitbull that make me upset.  Don't get me wrong, I love mischievous, just not rude.

Marius shared this link with us last night - it had me in tears...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOksW_NabEk

Hope you all have a good, restful weekend!

Love,

Sue XXX