Our little blessing...

 We had a party a few weeks ago!  Our little miracle boy, Rylee, is 1!!  Rosie and Gareth decided to do a farm themed party and went all out to make it a memorable birthday!

 Gorgeous piggy balloons at the doorway...

 Animal party packs for the kiddies to take home at the end of the party...

 They even had a watering hole...

 Welcome to Rylee's farm...

 Rylee was super excited with all the new toys in the garden...

 Gareth's mom, Pat, made the most delicious and gorgeous cupcakes...

 Too cute too eat?  Nah, was too good not to...

 Rosie's cake was outstanding!  Meet Hilux, the farm dog...

 So much trouble taken in all the little details...

 Little mini-scarecrows...

 And gorgeous jars that Jo helped with...  my sisters are so clever...

 The table was full of kid-friendly food (except the speckled eggs, which were such a treat for the big people)...

 Rylee got all cleaned up for his party and I managed to snap a few shots before his friends arrived...

 An angelic moment...

 And then it was time for the party to start!  Corky and Bi were amongst the first to arrive...

 Bi launched herself straight into the ball pit.  She looked gorgeous as always in her new party dress...

 I don't think Rylee, or Trent, knew what had hit them with this busy, giggling girl in their space...

 Corky was a little more reserved and watched from the side for a while...

 Bi had a ball - she's still little enough to get away with enjoying the little kids toys...

 Corky wanted to play, but felt a little self-conscious...

He's a happy kid...

 Rosie and her little man - it was too hot for anything more than a shirt and a nappy...

 Jake was a bit late for the party - he had a cubs thing on, but hopped straight into the ball pit...

 Corky followed and things too a turn for the rougher...

 Michael & Cam followed soon and the other parents quickly removed their babies from the pit.  Our boys had fun...

 And Marius made sure that they took regular breaks so the little ones could enjoy their party.  Cam's reached the photo stage Michael was at a while ago - has to pull a face for the camera...

 Farm pudding...

Rylee and his big cousin Bi...

Rylee's daddy's really funny...  This is my favourite photo of the day...  look at all his teeth!!!

 And look at his gorgeous eyes...

 You can only do that to Auntie Sue - because she does it back...

 Rylee's hair's definitely red.  We wondered for a long time how red it would be and it turns out that it's the gorgeous kind...

 Hey blue eyes - I love you...

 Gareth with his birthday boy...

 Munch munch - finger biscuits are the best...

 Little Miss...

 Michael...

 Jake...

 Cameron...

  Rylee-roo...AKA Gogga...

 He loves watching the other kids, so sweet to see him starting to be a bit interactive...

 No words...

 Corky and Bi also got into the dressing up, de-facing the pigs thing...

Nini and Pa with the birthday boy...

Rylee was starting to get very tired...

  LOL... Cam decided to stay in his costume, even eating his jelly around the nose...

 Rylee perked up for the singing...

 And all his cousins helped him to blow out his candles...

 Getting stuck into his cake...

 Rylee was finished and Rosie tried to get him to snooze in his hammock, but he was not missing a thing!  Nini & Pa ended up taking him home for a much-needed nap...

So to Rylee, a very big happy birthday!  I know I'm very late putting these pictures up and wishing you, but things have been crazy busy lately.  I hope that you enjoyed your very first birthday and I hope that we are all around to share many more with you.  You're such a gorgeous little boy and we love you so much!  It's been such fun watching you grow from a little blob, into a bouncing little boy.  It's hard to imagine our lives without you!

Lots of love,

Sue XXX

Funky Hair Day...

 Today is Funky Hair Day at school and Jake decided to keep his hair conventional, but to spray it green... so green it was!  He was up super early this morning, to get Nini to do his hair for him - it turned out fabulously and, as you can see, he was thrilled with it!

 He wanted more green though, so this was the final result...

 

We usually park at the local shopping center and walk the last block or two to school, but Jake wouldn't walk today.  He was sank as low into his chair as he could in the car and made me drop him right off at the door.  A lot of other kids had wigs and a few others had their hair sprayed too... Jake's hair definitely looked funky and I think he was thrilled to be able to go and show his support!

It's been a very hectic week, with fires blazing all across our beautiful mountains.  Jo and Paul were evacuated from their home and Buitenverwachting lost some of their vineyards as the blaze swept through the forest bordering their fences.  Firefighters are still working hard to make sure that there are no flare ups and we are all thankful for their hard work and commitment.

OK, hope you all have a happy weekend!

Love Sue XXX

Moving forward...

I have so much that I want to write about, but I'm just not getting to my blog at all at the moment.  It's in the pipeline to get myself set up with some sort of Internet connection at home soon, so hopefully I'll be better about updating when I can do it when I have more time!

This week has been a biggie for us and I'm exhausted.  I feel completely drained today, like just lifting my arms is hard - I'm really, really glad that it's Friday!!

I've made the huge step this week to take Jake to see a clinical psychologist, to try help sort out a few issues that I'm having with him.  I personally am not a huge fan of psychologists - we all have issues and have to learn to live with them - but I hate seeing Jake unhappy and I'll do whatever I can to help him!  Mostly, I've been concerned about the meds he's on and so I'm just looking for a second, professional opinion.  Jake seems incredibly wound up in the evenings, very subdued and serious during the day.  He's so quiet, I sometimes forget he's there.  I hate it!  And at night, he's awake until 11 most nights (1am on Saturday!) - for a kid who loves his sleep (and a mommy who does too), this isn't working at all.  It means that it's difficult to get him going in the mornings too; he just wants to sleep.  In the evenings after lights out at 8:30, Jake is continuously looking for my attention.  He talks and wants to know what I'm doing/watching/eating/going to bed - until he knows I'm asleep.  He can get quite rude with me at times.  I feel like I'm not in control and that he's a bit out of control.  It's out of character and I feel like he's just not my Jake at the moment.  It's making me very sad.

In the same breath, I think that this is honestly mostly my fault!  Jake's used to having my undivided attention.  He's a spoiled brat (with my time!).  It's been tough for him to learn that I have other people in my life who are important too and that in the evenings, after he's had me all to himself all day, it's my time.  And don't let me get started on his behaviour when Marius is there!  Moving forward, I've been told that I need to completely ignore him in the evenings - do you have any idea how hard that is?  Not to even tell him to shhhh when he starts to irritate me???!  It's in these moments that it's toughest to be a single mom.  It would be so much easier if there was someone there to help me ignore him!  To egg me on and to take over while I take a break.  Thank goodness for wine and chocolate, right!?

Jake's very aware that what he's doing is unacceptable and during the day he will apologise and tell me that he doesn't know how to control himself.  He's a bright boy, so he knows!  And he hates making me sad and he hates getting into trouble.  So, fingers crossed that this is just a stage and that with the psychologist's help, we've reached a turning point.  He's really embarrassed about it.  We have a decent reward system going, which should hopefully inspire a bit of good behavior.  Jake's a tweenie now, so the hormones are lining up at gates and I know that I need to regain some control before Jake hits his teens - before he's bigger than me, which isn't far off!

Jake is an amazing boy, but I feel like there's a little spark that's disappeared from him and between us at the moment.  This week has been better than previous, so like I said, moving onwards and upwards.

Hope you have a lovely weekend!

Love Sue XXX

Out of sync...

I love this boy.  He drives me crazy like you won't believe, but I do love him with all my heart!

It's been a busy week and we're fully back in routine now with all sporting and extramural activities.  I went to a parent/teacher meeting with Jake's new teacher, Mrs van der Westhuizen, who's been teaching at his school since I was there!!  She's old school - firm, but encouraging and I love it.  She's given the parents great tips for in and around the house, for helping her achieve her goals with our kids.  We've used the week to implement a few and so far so good.  Jake now does his homework on his own at his desk in his room and I check it for him when he's done.  He was doing it at the dining room table, with me sitting, helping.  Truth be told - I don't quite know what to do with myself while he's working quietly on his own any more.  It's so good for him to be able to go and put his music on and do it in his own time.

This week has been a hard one for me and it has felt at times as though Jake and I are very out of sync with each other.  I don't like it - I like our home to be calm and happy as it can be.  Life is rushed, so it's not always so.  Our lack of sync this week has kept me awake at night and so I'm exhausted.How do you discipline your kids.  What punishments/rewards do you use?  Do they get the odd whack if they need it?  Do you reward them, or bribe them?  I've tried just about everything I can think of.  Taking away games and TV time seems to hurt the most.

That said, I don't like punishment and I don't like shouting. I prefer to talk to Jake and get him to hear where I'm coming from.  It doesn't always work out that way though...

 I don't like being ignored or spoken to rudely.  I have never hit Jake (besides the lummy he got on his arm last night for not listening and for being disrespectful!) and I do usually prefer working with a reward system, rather than punishing, but sometimes, when rewards don't work, punishing is the only way.  It's a work in progress (for all parents, I think) and its a lot of hard work, especially as a single mom.  It's frustrating and you hope that you're making the right decisions, but you never really know.  Marius gives me heaps of support, but the final decisions are mine.  And let's face it... we all do things differently.  I know I give too many warnings, I speak too many times before I get upset, but when I get upset, Jake knows he's in the dog box!  And when I start threatening boarding school, because what we're doing at home isn't working and we're both unhappy, then he really knows he's crossed that invisible line with me.

Most of the time, Jake is a wonderful boy to live with.  He's funny and kind and caring and loving and so smart beyond words, but it's those odd moments when he turns into a pitbull that make me upset.  Don't get me wrong, I love mischievous, just not rude.

Marius shared this link with us last night - it had me in tears...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOksW_NabEk

Hope you all have a good, restful weekend!

Love,

Sue XXX