Sometimes...

Life is hard.  There's no doubt about it.  Sometimes, I wonder how I could possibly have been dealt the hand in life that I have been given.  How is it possible that the man I was supposed to grow old with is no longer here?  How is it possible that I have survived for so many years without him?  I didn't think I would, but against the odds, I did.  How is it possible that I am a single parent?  How did that happen?  How is it possibly possible that at 35, I am going through the stresses and strains of finding my place in the world again?  Believe me, I owe EVERYTHING I have and EVERYTHING I am to Jake.  I know that without my precious, precious little boy by my side, there's no ways I could've done any of it.  With him, I can do anything.

Jake is having a really tough time at school at the moment.  He's not enjoying it and it breaks my heart into so many pieces knowing that he's not happy.  I can't pretend that he's the perfect child, he's not.  He has his faults and both listening and waiting his turn to speak definitely aren't his strong points at the moment.  But he's a kid and I believe that if I keep on disciplining him in the consistent way I always have, reminding him over and over, he will eventually "get it".  Perhaps not, but there's no recipe book that tells us how to raise our children; no tried and perfected way to follow.  It's pretty much hit and miss on our most life's most important assignment.

Back to Jake and his troubles.  I hate seeing him so unhappy over school.  I am literally exploring every single option at this stage and will do absolutely anything to help him "get there".  And get there he will.  Jake is super smart - on subjects that interest him.  Counting in blocks and dots has never interested him, but ask him how many legs 6 dinosaurs have all together and he'll happily work it out for you.  He loves a challenge and is incredibly competitive with himself. 

His work in class is often incomplete and his teacher has commented numerous times on his lack of concentration, motivation and enthusiasm in the classroom.  This year has seen him in eye therapy, remedial and now Occupational Therapy classes.  The remedial is going well and Jake adores his remedial teacher.  Eye therapy was completely successful and his teacher has seen an improvement in his reading, confidence which is fabulous.  But he's still not finishing his work in class and he still doesn't like school and he still isn't finishing his work in class.

It seriously worries me though, that there are so many exercises Jake isn't finishing.  I adore his teacher, she's really lovely, but I can't help but wonder, what does she do during the time my child is doing nothing?  One particular exercise allowed Jake an hour to write 8 sentences of his own creation.  An hour!  Jake literally wrote the date and drew a line.  He didn't even try.  Is he just being lazy?  Perhaps, but my question is this: what did his teacher do for that hour?  Surely she was in the classroom.  I understand that there must be a lot happening in a class of 30 8-year olds, but surely she must be able to see if a kid is sitting staring at the wall.  Surely, she is able to provide some encouragement or threat for work to be completed.  I have already explained to Jake that no matter how little he feels like doing the work, he still has to try, but it really bugs me that his teacher, knowing that he potentially has a concentration problem, doesn't seem to be encouraging him to work a little more than she does.  I know they have assessments, where they can't be helped and I know they need to learn to get on with it, but he's 8...

I have also decided to have Jake assessed for Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD).  At least if I have my suspicions confirmed, then I can make a more educated decision on which route to follow.  It will give me the opportunity to explore homeopathic vs medicated alternatives.  I do realise that there is a lot that I can do with regards to Jake's diet, however we don't eat unhealthily at home.  And no matter how much I curb him eating junk, he will find a way to get hold of sweets and chips at school.  Let's face it, if there's a birthday in class, there's no ways that I can forbid him from eating the cupcakes.  I don't think that would be fair.  I do currently have Jake on a high dosage of Omega 3 & 6, along with a herbal concentration aid, called Bio-Strath.  Personally, I haven't noticed any changes, but perhaps his teacher will feel differently.

I could write about his forever and there will be many who disagree with me exploring the medication route, but at the end of the day, I'm the one that has to make this decision.  If you have a heart problem, you take heart pills; high blood pressure, pills; cholesterol, pills.  Surely if my child has a concentration problem and there's medication available to help him focus better, then that is something I must look at.  Why must he struggle, hating his way through school, when he should be able to comfortably keep up with his peers? 

Besides the stresses of these decisions that weigh so heavily on my heart right now, we have had a good break from routine and I hope that by next week Jake is feeling ready to bravely face the new term.  Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers.

Sue X