Straight from the heart...

 In no uncertain terms, Jake knows the way to my heart.  He knows how to soften me up when he's in trouble and he knows how to make me feel better when I'm sad.  He is so sensitive to me.  He is precious beyond all understanding (those of you with kids of your own will know what I mean) and I would do anything for him.

He loves sleeping in my bed with me and we have it that on Sunday nights, I go to bed with him (at 7pm).  We read stories and then he rolls over and goes to sleep and I carry on reading.  I love my early night with him.  Sometimes, he manages to get it right that he's allowed to sleep in my bed on Wednesday nights too.  He always thinks it's such a big treat, but it's as much of a treat for him as it is for me.  Last night, after story time and while he was supposed to be going to sleep, I walked in to find him making the hearts on my side of the sheets.  He can have anything he wants today, my heart has melted into gooey chocolate.

On a sombre note, today would've been Jacques' 34th birthday.  It's still such a surreal thought that he's not here to celebrate it with us and we are all remembering happy times gone by.  I was chatting to my sister (Jo) earlier and we were having a bit of a giggle, wondering how grey Jacques would've been by now.  How many wrinkles he would've had.  Whether his belly would've grown.  I know how much my body has changed and how many wrinkles I now have! Where would we be; what path would we have followed?  Anyway, like all these tough days, today will pass and I am already looking forward to snuggling into my bed and leaving this day behind me for another year.  Funny how life can be so happy in between and then days like today surprise you and leave you feeling so drained.

Sending lots of love and thoughts to my entire family, I know this is a difficult day for everyone, especially Jacques' folks.  And to Danie who puts up with all my nonsence: thank you all for loving me so unconditionally.

Sue X