How things have changed...

We're busy sorting out our archives at work.  It's a massive job that hasn't been done since our company started in 1998.  Since we only need to keep track of paperwork from the last 5 years for tax purposes, it means that we are throwing away masses of old documents - 8 years worth.  Plus, I am re-doing all the old files and sorting the place out a bit.  It means that my office is cramped and messy at the moment, but hopefully soon, everything will be organised and easily accessible.

In going through old documents, I'm amazed at how emotional some silly office documents are making me feel.  Looking back at dates, such as 7 December 2004 and remembering what an emotional wreck I was back then.  Our first Christmas without Jacques was looming and I was beside myself at the thought of actually having to take time off work and be at home.  I needed to work to keep my mind distracted.  Conflicting to that was knowing that I would have some extra time with Jake; that we were going to be celebrating his first Christmas.  I was doing my best ( not very successfully) to keep a smile on my face and make it a happy one for him.  It was very hard.

4 March 2005, just a few days before the anniversary of our wedding.  How could it be that just 4 years earlier, I'd been so excited about starting the new life that had just crumbled around me?  How could so much have happened in such a short amount of time?

6 May 2005 and I wonder now how I coped planning Jake's first birthday.  Just a year before I'd been the happiest person on the planet.

Then I get to dates like 7 September 2005, which is 2 days before Danie's birthday and 25 July 2005 - just less than 5 years before we will meet each other and I will lose my heart all over again.  At the time, I would never have dreamed that falling in love again would ever be possible.  But it is and it amazes me every single day that I can feel so strongly about some one.


How time has changed me.  I am a single mother, who, thrown into the deep end, has given everything I possibly could into being the best parent possible.  It hasn't been easy, but Jake is a lovely little boy (he has his faults, but don't we all?) and I have loved every moment I get share with him.  I love watching him grow and learn about the world around him.  Being a single parent has made me better at decision making and it has definitely made me a stronger person.

So, to some, this cleaning up process might just be a boring job (OK, it's definitely VERY boring), but I am learning a lot about myself and my life while I get the job done!

Enjoy your weekend everybody
Sue XXX