The Life of a Single Parent...

There are many things in life that happen, which we have no control over. Things we wouldn't choose to deal with if we'd had the choice. For me, parenting single handedly is pretty high up on that list, probably topmost.

Take today, for example. What I'd really have appreciated having a partner for would have been to discuss Jake's fillings (2) that he needs to have done today. And for him to have been there to hold my hand while I hold Jake's... The dentist has insisted on sedating my child for the procedure, which he insists is standard procedure for all kids under 7, since they can't sit still. Problem is that, after having paid the anesthetist his fee (my child has to have a drip!!), I've heard about another very gentle dentist who works on kids unsedated. He plays Cartoon Network for them and is happy to do the work over more than one appointment, if necessary. And while the dentist promises me that with sedation, Jake won't remember a thing, it would have been really nice to have discussed this through with someone before committing.

At the moment, I'm feeling like I've made the wrong decision as far as my child is concerned and that's not a nice feeling. When I collect him from school, I'm going to have to put on my brave-mommy face, hold his hand and make light of the situation I could've avoided. So, sometimes one just has to pretend that what you're doing is right and maybe it will all be OK if Jake doesn't remember anything. Still...

So besides that, Jake's started Occupational Therapy under the recommendation of his teacher. She believes that he has fine motor co-ordination problems. Personally, I believe that some of us were born to have untidy handwriting and others were born to be artists. I'm not sure that the OT's helping much, but I guess it can't do any harm. Question is: is it a waste of time, energy and much needed cash?

Besides also having concerns with regards to schooling, health, animals, sport, friends, outings, holidays, disappointments and discipline, it's really frustrating not being able to do on your own all the things that a man can do so well - fixing electronics (although Jake & I very proudly repaired our gas heater on our own), re-hanging doors that have broken hinges (Jake's room), braai'ing and SO much more.

Don't get me wrong, I have lots of friends and a wonderful family, especially my mom who knows Jake & I so well, to discuss my concerns with (and there's always you guys), but a partner is always going to be someone who knows you almost as well as you know yourself; someone who can help you make the decision that is right for your family and someone to console you when you make the wrong choice. I miss that. I miss being adored and pampered and since Jake's started talking about having brothers and sisters and refers to when (if) I get married again and his next dad, it's playing serious tricks on my brain.

Anyway, all I wanted to say is please appreciate the men in your lives. You're lucky to have them. While they may drive you nuts sometimes (or a lot) and they certainly all have their faults (as do we), they're there for you through thick and thin and, most importantly, they share your love for your child/ren and that has to count in their favour!

Sue XXX