post today, but I feel I have to. Need to. To my sisters (especially Rosanne, who cries at the drop of a hat): stop reading now...
Today's Jacques' birthday. Or it would've been, should I say. He would've been 31 and I can't help but wonder how the past 4 years would've changed him. Not only as a man and father, but in his basic appearance too. Would he have more grey hair? Would his skin be slowly starting to wrinkle more, as mine is? I wonder how many kids we would've had by now. What our own family would've been like. Where would we be living? Still at Buitenverwachting? I wonder what would've been on his birthday list this year? I know he would've been a wonderful dad and Jake's surely missed out by his absence in our lives. There's a huge part of me that's learnt, through all this, that some decisions just aren't ours to make and that we can't do anything to rewind life. We can only put a smile on our faces each morning and keep moving forward, walking life's path. I have so much to be thankful and grateful for in my life and that's what gets me through each day. And, honestly, I'm looking forward to sharing the next chapter of this adventure with Jake...
But, for today, I'm looking forward to it being tomorrow...
XXX
10 comments:
Thinking of you, especially today. xxx
I think it is great that you posted today, it is good for the soul - you cant just forget that this day was Jacques birthday, but it cannot be easy to remember what may have been, but you put it so well some of lives paths we have no control over and we have to just deal with today and the present as no one knows what lies ahead tomorrow. Thinking of you today Love Nicci
Hi Sue. I don't know if I have any right to say anything on this subject, especially since I have only recently got to know you and your gorgeous little boy. But, be that as it may, I just want you to know that I'm thinking of you today. You are such an incredibly strong woman, and I have so much respect for you and the way you are bringing Jake up. So know that ou are in my thoughts, and I hope the day passes quickly, for your sake.
one word... WOW...
S you are such an amazing woman and i really take my hat off to you. What an absolutely amazing post. Although i never met jacques i feel like i've always known him. You keep his memory alive and i can really sense how much you loved him and mostly how much he loved you.
Jake is so lucky to have you as his mom.
Thinking of you, as you remember Jacques on his birth date.
You and Jake honor him every day by living your lives to the fullest.
- Lee
Hi Everyone!
Thanks for your thoughts and wishes. It means a lot to know that there are so many people carrying us through the tough days. The day went by fairly uneventfully (much pizza, wine & chocolates were indeed consumed!!) and I'm happy to report it's tomorrow today!!
XXX
I hope yesterday passed quickly Susie. I really believe that by remembering and honouring Jacques memory on special days and anniversaries is good and healthy. Dealing with each emotion as it comes.
Thinking of you
xxx
So I finally read the post Boo(as much as you told me not to). Yes, there were tears, but there were smiles too. It was wonderful to see things through your eyes. I love and miss Jacques too, and you and I speak of him, and your "new" life often - but I will never know your pain. Thanks for allowing me (us all) into your world as you do. Loving you muchly as always. X Jax
Only read this now - haven't been online in sooo long. I also remembered it was his birthday and thought of you - You know he is with you guys all the time and will not miss a moment of Jake's life.
Remember that we, your friends, are here for you at any time and we love you
xxx
I have only now had a chance to catch up on everyones stories. It must have been a very emotional day for you, as I am sure every special occasion is. Thinking of you and love and hugs to you all. Fiona xxxx
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