Holiday fun...

 I love the school holidays.  I love that we can sleep in later and that neither of us are rushing and grumpy.  I love that we have time to explore the world together and spend more quality time with one another.  I love these moments and I treasure them, because I know that they are fleeting.

I've been very bad about taking photos just recently, so you'll have to forgive me for my lack of blogging... no pictures, no stories.  Yesterday though, I took Jake and my dad to visit the Springbok museum in the Waterfront.  Jake's been dying to go and we missed this stop during his last school holidays, so it was on our to-do-list for these holidays.  It was worth the wait!  Who knew that our rugby history was so interesting, or so vast?!  I do think that some of it was above Jake's head, but the overall experience was amazing and it's well worth a visit, if you're a rugby fan, which Jake considers himself to be...

 At the entrance, a beaded springbok...

 The stairway is lined with photos and quotes by some of South Africa's rugby greats...

 The memorabilia is amazing and the posters go right back to the "birth" of the Springboks...

 Jake with some of the first displays...

 The Boks 1921 tour to New Zealand...

 Jake loved seeing the old rugby kit...

 During WW2, the prisoners of war made their own Springbok Jerseys...

  It wouldn't be a truly South African museum, if it didn't bring into account, the horrors of apartheid.  As shocking as it was, it is part of our history and sadly affected all aspects of our country...

 

 When South Africa toured New Zealand in 1981, our all white team was literally attacked for what they represented...

Leaving the heartache of apartheid behind you and around the next corner, you find the display representing the Springbok's triumph in the 1995 World Cup - a match that essentially brought our entire nation together...

 The Webb Ellis Cup...

 A program from the opening match, which was played in Cape Town.  I was just 19 then and couldn't afford to go see the Boks take on Australia...

 A statue commemorating Madiba handing over the Webb Ellis Cup to Francois Pienaar - such a proud moment for all South Africans.  I bet you can remember exactly where you were with your face painted and New South Africa flags flying when you watched that game, right?  It's so hard to share with Jake the emotions that we went through that day...

 Jake standing in front of his favourite player's height marker - Bryan Habana...

 Andries Bekker is a giant of a man...

 There was a short film to end our tour off, showing how rugby unites us all.  From the kids playing in the townships, to school boy (and girl) rugby, to clubs and national teams, with supporters and staff - it left me feeling all warm and fuzzy and very proud to be a South African...

So, do yourselves a favour and make a turn there if you can - it's really incredible for all rugby fans!

Love,

Sue XXX

Princess Bi has turned 3...

OK, OK, I know I'm behind on this - Bi's birthday was weeks, no months, ago!  I know I'm behind on everything after my NZ trip, but her birthday was the day before I left and I just haven't had a chance.

This year, Bi decided that she wanted nothing more than a pink party and that's exactly what she got.   Bi was beyond excited when we got there to share her special day with her...

 The pink theme meant butterflies and flowers...

 And lots of really pretty, girly things...

 Of course there was plenty of pretty sugar and spice too...

 And beautiful butterfly biscuits - Jo always goes to so much trouble to make her kids parties extra special...

 Barbi Mariposa was there too - she was such fun for the kids, doing make-up and face-painting, as well as a little magic and story-telling...

 Bi was enthralled...

 And she's always loved having a little make-up done...

 Such a pretty girl!

  This is one of my favourite pictures of the day...

 Jake's a bit beyond it and Mariposa certainly isn't his thing, but he did try his best to make Bi's party fun for her.  He even took part in blowing the fairy dust...

 Bi showing me her fairy dust...

 I took some snaps without my flash, which are always gentler, but more tricky at a party indoors with a bunch of busy kids...

 Mariposa played some games outside with the kids too - they were blessed with such a perfect day...

 Bi's cake was a gorgeous pink butterfly, made by her very clever mommy too...

 And Bi was thrilled...

 A little kiss from her daddy, while we sang to our special girl...

 A big puff to blow out her candles...

 And then it was time for Mariposa to head back to fairyland...

 This photo of Bi and her mommy has made me smile a thousand times - just love that little happy face...

 Bi's got gorgeous eyes and she's really started to enjoy having her picture taken.  She's got the most amazing expressions and pulls the funniest faces sometimes.  She loves to see pictures of herself now too...

 And she wouldn't really fit in to this family if she didn't like behaving a bit like a clown sometimes...

 This is my absolute favourite photo from her party... she just looks so happy with life.  So carefree...

 Rylee came to the party too.  Bi loves being able to hold him on her own, she takes it very seriously...

 Of course the best part about having a birthday is opening all your presents...

Bi, I love the amazing, beautiful, funny, crazy little girl you've grown to be.  I love hearing you singing the new songs you've learned at school and I love listening to you chattering away.  I love that you're so carefree and yet so strong-willed (don't try telling her that it's 4 degrees outside and that the sleeveless fairy dress she wants to wear with beach tongs is not appropriate)!  I love that you're a tom boy when you want to be, but can also be the softest, gentlest little girl when you need to be.  I love your beautiful blue eyes and your big, big smile.  Most of all, I love sharing my birthday with you!!

Lots of love,

Sue XXX

Jake's book...

This is my idea for Jake.  I've been wanting to do this for ages, but never get around to it...

If you knew Jacques in any way and have a small story you'd like to put into Jake's book, please let me know 

Have a happy weekend!

Love Sue XXX

A Decade...

Today is the 27th of June - never been a happy day for me.  It's a day that I dread on my calendar and one that I always look forward to the end of.  Today is also significant because it marks the 10th anniversary since Jacques died.  A whole decade!  I don't know how the time has flown by so quickly and still managed to stand still at the same time.

I always tell myself that today is just a day, that it's not that day, but it's difficult not to look at the clock and remember when Jacques gave me our last kiss through our security gates or shouted his last "I love you" as he headed off on his life's final adventure.  It's hard not to remember people knocking on my door to pass me the news, or those first frantic phone calls.  It's hard not to remember the tears that flowed and the hearts that were broken that day.

But today is not that day.  Today is 2014, 10 years down the line.  I am still sad and I still miss Jacques more than I can tell you, but my life has reached a turning point and for the first time in 10 years, I feel really happy with life.  There are so many people who have been by my side and traveled this road with me...

My Jake is an amazing kid and he has brightened up the very darkest moments for me.  He always manages to get me to smile and he is just such a blessing.  I honestly don't think I'd have reached this "milestone" without him by my side.  I probably wouldn't be here at all.  There were times when I didn't know how I would ever function as a normal person again, but because of Jake and his love, I had to keep going.  I had to pick up the tiny pieces from the train-wreck that had become my life and start living, start enjoying life, for his sake.  I love him more than unconditionally and if I'm an over-protective, in-your-face kind of mom, well, suck it up - I have my reasons.  He is more precious to me than all the gold in the world!  I truly, madly, deeply love this boy with my entire being!

Another blessing has been my wonderful family.  I am so lucky to have so many people around me who have quite literally carried me when I've needed it.  They've supplied, shoulders, tissues (and sleeves), food, wine and chocolates.  They've given me a roof over my head for far longer than expected.  They've laughed and cried with me and if I don't say thank you enough, I'm sorry.  I love you all SO very much.

Death teaches you so a lot about people.  I have learnt who my truest friends are.  The ones who who have stuck by me through thick and thin, even when I haven't had the energy to remember birthdays or make phone calls.  It hasn't always been pretty and I haven't always been the best friend, but I love you so much and I am grateful to you all for sticking by me through this.  They say you can't chose your family (my big, crazy family really is the best though), but you can chose your friends - thank you for choosing me!

And last, but definitely not least, my Marius, who has helped me patch up the hole in my heart and who loves me in spite of all of the craziness that I've been through.  Perhaps even partly because of it.  It's shaped who I am, after all.  He doesn't get annoyed when I have moments like these and just lets me be who I am.  I am SO unbelievably lucky to have met him (and his gorgeous boys) and I am so grateful that life has given me a second chance at happiness.  It's a scary though to think of being a single parent and growing old alone.  When you've been through something like losing a partner so suddenly, you learn to look on the brighter side of life and you learn not to take things too seriously.  Life does not go happily on forever and you cannot take things for granted.  We don't get as much time together as we'd like, but Marius and I both treasure our time together.  He has fast become my best friend and I love sharing my weekends with him.  Marius has given me hope!

Today is a sad day, but I know now that I'm 10 years older and maybe a little wiser, that Jacques would want us to be happy.  He would be so proud of what we've achieved and how we've coped.  Heck, I'm proud of us!!  So today is just a day, but I cannot wait for my glass of wine this evening and for the sun to rise on tomorrow.

Love,

Sue XXX

PS.  I'm doing something for Jake with that photo... I will post it up here a bit later.

Finally...

I didn't think today would EVER be here - exams are OVER!  Well at least they will be by the time Jake gets home.  He is writing his last exam (Life Orientation, which is kinda like our old Health, but includes religion and rights, etc) at 9am today.  It's an easy one and he's confident about it.  We are finished studying (for now) and I can say, without a doubt, that Jake's first exams went well and I am so proud of him for how much hard work he's put into his studies.

  Exams were never a concern for me when I was a kid.  I never studied.  Like never.  I don't know how to.  I was definitely an auditory learner and must've I listened well in class.  Jake is a very visual learner and so the studying has been something new for both of us.  This term it's been about teaching him how to study and how to do mind maps and use pictures to remember things.  So different from his mother!

It's been quite stressful for me, being on the parent side of exams this time and I count the minutes down till Jake's home from school.  Despite his confidence in his work, Jake's also taken a bit of strain with nerves through exams, which I never expected.  He's woken up nauseous and with an upset tummy every morning.  He's barely managed to get any breakfast down his throat and we did have one morning where it all came up again.  I'm trying to help him with this and will definitely have a stock of rescue drops handy for the end of the year exams.  Maybe his nerves were just because of uncertainty with these being his first set.  Next time can only be better!

So today we can breathe a sigh of relief and slob out on the couch.   Jake can play!!  It feels like a long time since we just had time to be and I can't wait!!

Well done on finishing your first exams, Jake - I am very proud of you, my sweet boy.  I know you've done your very best and I love you for trying so hard!  XXX

Love,

Sue XXX

A Good Year...

  A few days late, but Marius and I have been dating for a year now... a whole year!!  How did we get there so soon?

 A year has shown me that Marius is the most wonderful, patient dad.  It's very tough being a single parent and he does it so effortlessly.  Michael and Cameron are very lucky boys to have such a devoted dad who loves them so very unconditionally.

A year has taught Jake the benefits of having a strong, stable man around.  The changes in his confidence are clear for all to see and I think it's given him a wonderful sense of being part of a "normal" family.  He's been accepted and welcomed warmly into Marius' home (on the weekends).  A year has taught Jake how to share me.  A year has taught him how to find shark's teeth on the beach.  A year has taught Jake that having two boys around means friends 24/7, but it also means learning to stand up for oneself.  He really is crazy about the boys and the weekends that they're with their mom always feel a bit flat for all of us, especially Jake.  

A year has taught me how to be happy again.  It's taught me how to give of myself in a way that makes not only others happy, but me too.  A year has shown me that Marius is funny, kind, caring, generous and compassionate.  He accepts me for who and what I am.  A year has taught me not to take life so seriously; that's it's good to laugh and act like a kid sometimes.  A year has taught me that life is hard work and that kids can be challenging, but if you have a decent partner to share the load with, it makes the journey fun.  A year has taught me to enjoy cooking again!  A year has taught me to have hope and to believe in happily ever afters.  A year has given me back what I thought I'd given up on.  A true companion.  A year has given me a year full of love.

To my Marius, my Schmuckles, thank you for loving and accepting both Jake and I.  I love our time together and I loved every second of our holiday.  I love how special you always make me feel.  I will never take you for granted, you are amazing in every way.  Thank you for the most wonderful, exciting year and thank you for loving me.  I can't wait for the next year in this adventure!  I love you XXX

Love your Sue XXX

An Unexpected Journey - Part 8...

Marius and I spent our last night in our Motor Home in Raglan, which is on the Tasmanian Sea, along the West Coast of New Zealand.  It's supposed to be a surfing spot, but we didn't acutally get as far as the beach.  This was a lagoon, or inlet of sorts... black beaches again...

The sunset was magnificient...

See?? We had some drinks at the camper and went out for fish and chips and a calamari ring for supper...

We did the drive back to Auckland mostly in the rain... passed a herd of cows on the highway, as you do...

He scenery continued to amaze us and we both felt quite sad that our time together in this beautiful country had come to an end so soon...

So, to Marius... than you for the most incredible holiday. I loved every second of my time with you. You are wonderful and I love you. 

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend, thanks for sitting through all my photos, I hope you enjoyed seeing New Zealand too!

Love Sue xxx