A magical evening...

 It's a highlight on our annual calender and we try go as a family, which makes it all the more special.  Yep, I'm talking about good old Uncle Paul's Christmas Party.  The kids get so excited and we all meet in the parking area of Groot Constantia before hopping on a tractor for our ride up to the party.

 Jo, Paul and the kids went up first, with my mom.  It's not so much fun knowing they'll all be up having hay fights while we wait for our tractor...

 Connor's too big for it now, but he keeps up the Christmas spirit and helps make it fun for Bi...

 Princess Stinky...

  Cuddles for Nini.  Poor Pa had to stay at home this year...

 And then they were off and we were left waiting on the platform...

 Rylee was super excited for Christmas this year.  It was so special...

 Finally it was our turn to go...

 Nini and Bi were ready and waiting for us...

 My mother's like an overgrown child.  She just loves the hay fight, can't wait to get it in my face...

 Bi is as bad as my mother, just not overgrown!  I swear she had more straw in her hair than hair...

 She literally swims in the stuff...

 Rylee running away from Nini after pelting her with straw...

 My mom will throw straw at anyone.  No kid is safe...

 What's Bi up to...

  Oh poor Mr Plod.  He's never safe!!  There's Rylee running away after throwing his straw too...

 On of Bi's 7 besties was there...

 But nobody's safe when Bi's got an armful of straw...

 And she's ruthless - poor friend didn't stand a chance, down her shirt and everything...

 Jake was a little boring this year.  Typical teenager I guess.  Corky kept him company...

 The men are quite boring as far as straw goes - they all claim to suffer from hay fever.  So do I, but it's never stopped me!  You haven't been to Uncle Paul's if you don't have straw in your undies when you get home!!

 Rosie doesn't often let me take photos of her, but she's learning that family pictures and pics of her with Rylee are such treasures...

Waiting for the Salvation Army band to start playing...

 The Salvation Army Band - some of these guys have been playing with the band since Uncle Paul's parties started 60 odd years ago...

 Marching behind the band...

 I know this photo's blurry, but this boy's eyes can melt me...

 Jo and Bi, with Nini behind.  Jo takes her marching very seriously...

 Yay!  Jake got up to join in the marching...

 What's next Uncle Paul???

 The kids all got a chance to play an instrument.  Rylee tried out the drum and the triangle...

 Next up was Noddy and his crew.  They brought us ice-creams...

 Once we'd had something to eat and after Noddy had left, once it started to get darker, it was time for carols...

 Jake and Connor sharing a song sheet.  Incidentally, the guy in the background with the yellow cup in his hand was my neighbour at Buitenverwachting for a short time...

 Rylee and his very special dad...

 The next visitor to the party was Father Christmas!!

 Connor wanted to be part of it, but he's 9 now, so too big to be given a gift by Father Christmas.  He at least walked with Rylee to get his gift...

  Hahaha - looks like Father Christmas is giving Bi a telling off for being naughty...

 He had a good gift for her, so she must've been good enough...

 Jake also wanted to be in on the action.  Gives me a huge lump in my throat when I see how big my boy is getting...

 A quick pic of Bi with the fairy...

 Turns out Father Christmas snuck something in for Jake too - he was very chuffed...

Christmas has been such fun this year.  The bigger kids are making sure that it's a magical time for the little ones.  Uncle Paul's was a great start to the holiday festivities.  It's the same every year, but we all so look forward to it, already can't wait for 2019's party!!

Love,

Sue xxx

Tis the season...

 Jake recently went on a toy run with his Grandpa Hubie.  Grandpa has a Gold wing that he had modified into a tricycle a while back.  He's had surgery on his spine and getting on and off a motorbike was just getting too difficult.  The trike gives him his freedom to ride in comfort, without the inconvenience of hopping on and off.  This year, he asked Jake to join him on the toy run, which was loads of fun.  Obviously I could only take pictures of them leaving the house, but it was a special morning for both of them...

 Jake's a nervous guy by nature and has always been nervous to go on the bike, but I think he really enjoyed the toy run...

 And off they go!  The Gold wing's like a car...

 We are all starting to get a little into the festive spirit.  There's no doubt that it's been tough this year, but we are hoping to make it a happy occasion, especially for the kiddies..

 Jo came through with her kiddies on Sunday morning and Rosie popped in with Rylee, so we decided it would be fun to have the whole family (minus husbands) there to put up the tree.  We got the actual tree up before they arrived...

 Jake is as tall as my dad now...

 And he's got a very deep voice and super hairy legs, but he still acts like a clown...

 All the boys working together to make our tree beautiful - it's so full of memories...

 Dad adding some touches...

   Rylee was super excited to help, especially with all his cousins there...

 While all the boys were busy decorating the tree, Princess Stinky was standing in the corner crying because she got purple slime in her hair.  Poor girl had a planter's wart burnt off the side of her foot and it's formed a huge blood blister, that's about the size and colour of a black fruit pastille...

 Precious Corky...

 Dad always puts the fairy on top of the tree and she's always the last decoration to go on.  She's a total drunken fairy (fitting for our house) - her head is separate from her body and we always have to look for both parts...

  And she's up and ready to watch over us all this festive season...

 A hug for the tree...

It's been a tough year for us as a family.  My dad's health hasn't been great. The short version is that he needs to have both his legs amputated, mid-calf.  He has no circulation below his ankles.  He's already had a toe removed, but it just isn't healing.  It's a terrifying thought for all of us, Dad most of all and we have more questions than answers.  Dad's seeing the surgeon on Friday and we'll hopefully get some more answers to our many questions then.  At the moment, it's all very much up in the air and they haven't even set a date for the surgery yet.  News like this puts your mind in a spin and we are all constantly thinking about how this is going to impact life for all of us.  We are hopeful that this will only happen in 2019.  For now, we are all working hard at keeping spirits up and enjoying the holidays with the kids and Dad.  Thankfully, we are strong as a family and we have a ridiculously childish way of finding stupid things to laugh about.

Sending love,

Sue XXX

Only parenting...

There are so many rewards in being a parent.  Watching a baby grow into an independent being and loving that being so unconditionally, is the greatest gift on earth.  Helping them figure out life, is so rewarding in so many ways.

Parenting has many challenges for any couple.  Financially it's a strain to extend your family.  To go from two, to three of four people is huge jump and the changes to your financial priorities happens fast.  We all tend to put our kids first.  Their education should always be our priority.  They need to have clothes to wear and a roof over their head.  But the financial stretch doesn't come even close to the emotional stretch.  I didn't know that my heart had so much room in it, until I looked into Jake's blue eyes that very first time.  There's  nothing that can prepare you for that rush of emotion. And it continues throughout their lives.  Each time they reach a milestone or achieve (sometimes overachieve), your heart swells a little more.

There's a lot to be said for sharing this feeling with your partner.  Granted, I only had a few moments to treasure Jake with Jacques, but we did.  Jacques loved his son so much and was so proud of his boy.  He loved walking through the shops with his tiny bundle in his arms and the attention it brought him.  Sadly, many kids grow up in broken homes, with parents who fight and hurt and hate.  I'd rather be a single parent than put my child through that kind of emotional trauma.

Single parenting is tough.  It's can't be easy sharing holidays or sending your little tots away for weekends.  It would break my heart and I am selfishly so glad that I have Jake all to myself.  Don't get me wrong, I'd rather be a whole, happy family, but I can't have that, so I'm grateful that I get to have every Christmas and birthday and everything with Jake.  Single parenting brings fighting over maintenance and time, but it also brings two grown ups that generally have their kids best interest at heart.  I don't have that.  There's a difference between single parenting and only parenting.  Only parenting means nobody to confer with over your child's issues.  Nobody to back you up in an argument.  Nobody to discipline an unruly teen.  It means no second income.  Shopping for Christmas presents on your own (yes, I know many married women do this too, but that's a choice).  Nobody to bounce ideas off.  Nobody to plan holidays with.  It's really all up to one person to do everything and to make all the decisions, financial, well-being and emotional.  No back up guy.

So when people ask me why I live with my parents, I have two answers.  1st, why wouldn't I?  We get on so well and it's really so great to have backup.  My mom is incredible and has helped me so much with raising Jake.  They have an unbelievable bond and that's something money can't buy.  I've always said that Jake just wants time.  We have enough space in our old family home and it works well for us.  It might change with time, but for now, we're very happy with where we are.  Plus, there are people to talk to when my teenager goes into hiding.  2nd, it makes financial sense.  We are able to rent out our home and use the extra income to cover the cost of living.  And let's face it - life has gotten crazy expensive this year!

So, only parenting vs single parenting is a whole different ball game.  They both come with challenges and rewards.  I guess you just take what you've got and get on with it as best you can.  And enjoy the ride!

Love,

Sue xxx